The Worst Spider-Man Movie Of All Time

Just a Friendly Neighborhood Reminder

WARNING: Mild spoilers for all Spider-Man movies from 2000-2019 (excluding Spider-Man: Far From Home), MCU movies with the character (including Avengers: Endgame), and a LOT of language due to unyielding rage. This is definitely a more “negative” post meant to be angry-funny, so I apologize to readers that aren’t fans of that. I DO want to thank you all for the immense support on my last two posts about The Battle of Winterfell and the X-Men. I honestly wasn’t sure if I’d write again during my hiatus, but since I started doing “once a month” in April I’ve been met with more views and positive feedback, so thanks for reading. Look forward to more nuanced and/or entertaining pieces every month!

Spider-Man is an extremely personal character for almost every nerd in the world. Saying that “my favorite superhero is Spider-Man” is the geek version of saying “my interests include traveling, dogs, and The Office” in the sense that no shit, everyone likes those things. However, there’s way more nuance and emotion behind fans’ love of the character of Spider-Man. Who knew that the superhero whose relatability spanned generations would be an awkward underprivileged nerd who chooses responsibility and tries his best, but is constantly hit with reality and uses humor to cope?

A certain charm of Spider-Man is that regardless of his numerous and seemingly incessant struggles, Peter Parker tends to just be “the best of us”. In the MCU alone, this is seen through many moments across the movies including telling Tony Stark that he couldn’t go to Germany because “he has homework”, blasting off into space to fight Thanos because “he can’t be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man if there’s no neighborhood”, and carrying the Infinity Gauntlet across a chaotic battlefield. This shows us that the young Peter has a heart of pure heroism that rivals even Captain Steve Rogers’, which is arguably why Tony (and audiences everywhere) is so fond of Peter. Even Tobey McGuire’s portrayal of Peter Parker ( in Sam Raimi’s trilogy) had its own campy charm, and Spider-Man 2 (2004) itself is hailed as one of the most successful and acclaimed comic book films of the 2000s. 

In the midst of these versions of a Silver-Screen-Spider-Man, unfortunately we had to deal with The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014). Two years ago I did a series called “Hype for Homecoming” (this was a very different blog back then) and I wrote this absolute mess of a piece breaking down just how much The Amazing Spider-Man pissed me off. I basically went off on how Andrew Garfield’s Peter Parker was an unlikable creep, they promised us Spidey would be funny but only gave us one real scene (which was in the trailer), it was incredibly inconsistent with tone, and that there was no heart to the movie because its purpose was to set-up another one. 

Today I will do what I have been wanting to do for a long time now, and set in stone that The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is a dumpster fire, and the worst Spidey movie ever conceived. It is 2019 and this is somehow still not accepted as universal fact, when it 100% should be. It triggers me when I see a power-ranking of Spider-Man movies and this one is not at the bottom. This is not only a bad Spider-Man movie, it is also just a bad movie, period. 

To be honest, my hatred of this movie didn’t start right away. I remember seeing it in theaters and thinking it was “okay”. It was only years later, when I re-watched every Spidey movie to prepare myself for Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), when I realized that this was so bad because I genuinely could not even finish it. This script has absolutely no fucking idea what it wants to accomplish. It gives off the impression that Sony wanted to do cool stuff with the Sinister Six but were compelled to make two set-up movies and treated them like an inconvenience. They tried to make them different from Sam Raimi’s in minuscule ways, portray that in trailers, and then they didn’t care what the hell else was going on as long as they got to throw everything in there that said “be sure to come back when we do Sinister Six and Venom”. This results in an incredibly unfocused narrative and zero semblance of a cohesive plot. 

“Well ackshually, Spider-Man 3 (2007) is the worst Spidey movie because that’s just so obviously the worst, right? Remember the Peter Parker jazz hands?!” 

Okay, sure, but you know what? At least the jazz hands make me smile in hindsight. At least I know what Peter’s whole deal is and all the stupidity at least falls into a structured story. At least the villains have some fucking realistic motivations. At least there’s some tension as to what’s going to happen. At least the final fight with the Goblin + Spidey team-up is cool. I don’t give a flying fuck about your web shooters, or your precious quips, or how handsome Andrew Garfield is, I don’t see any value in a Spidey movie which leaves me confused on the story and the characters! I can sit here and rant for hours about how there’s nothing to take away from this nonsensical clusterfuck, so let’s get to some specifics before this post becomes as disorganized as the movie itself.

PETER PARKER’S PARENTS

If you look at the marketing for the first movie, there was an empty promise about “The Untold Story”, bringing Peter Parker’s actual parents into the mix and using them as plot devices to connect the dots. That marketing made much more sense in this movie instead because it barely came into play in the first. Even in this one, the subplot was “resolved” in the most unsatisfying way possible. We OPEN this movie with some kind of knockoff Dark Knight Rises “Bane on a plane” sequence where Richard Parker is trying to upload some video explaining his disappearance, only to be attacked by an assassin of sorts. One can assume that this is probably going to come into play and be a huge plot point going forward. Especially because Peter does some Charlie Day shit and makes a stereotypical “conspiracy theory” wall, only to tear it down later, throw a graphing calculator at the wall, breaking it to reveal subway tokens…which then leads him to a secret underground train where he finds the super secret video that his father uploaded in the opening sequence…yeah, I know. Wow. 

Anyway, the BIG REVEAL is that Richard made the genetically altered spiders and that Norman wanted to weaponize them and there were ethical differences between the two. Except WE ALREADY FUCKING KNEW THAT FROM THE LAST ONE THROUGH SUBTEXT AND HEAVY IMPLICATION. If you wrote this entire story-line out of both movies, literally nothing else would change! 

GWEN STACEY AND HER RELATIONSHIP WITH PETER

Gwen Stacy is a phenomenal character in the Spider-Man mythos, and Emma Stone is a great actress, which is why this portrayal of Gwen is just tragic. She has no real purpose other than to be this intense reminder of guilt for Peter that he constantly ignores (because again, Peter is barely even a hero in this series). She had like ONE throwaway thing in the last movie about how “she’s lived the life of a cop’s daughter so she worries about Peter”. It was a sweet moment that continues to not matter as all the intelligence and independence we know and love Gwen for just goes right out the window. 

The relationship between Peter and Gwen is so on & off that it feels like they’ve gotten together/broken up somewhere in the double digits. Regardless of how nauseating this somehow “shittier than Twilight” romance is, this really SHOULDN’T BE an on and off thing, right? If your girlfriend’s dad’s last wish was to leave his daughter out of your vigilante shenanigans, you REALLY shouldn’t be constantly trying to make the relationship work and outright stalking her. I understand the need for romance in this, but couldn’t the main “subplot” have been that they’re trying to be friends? Couldn’t Peter have been distant, leaving  Gwen to make her own decision as to who she wants to spend time with? I don’t get why plot is constantly pushed through Gwen, as she has interactions with BOTH villains before they become villains, and shows up at nearly every dangerous situation Spidey finds himself in. 

Aside from that, her death just felt super cheap, like it became REALLY apparent how dirty they did her character. I get that they were trying not to make a “damsel-in-distress”, but that means giving Gwen her own thing and taking charge of her life, not just literally saying the words “ITS MY CHOICE TO BE HERE PETER”. If you had two villains, you could’ve easily had Gwen at Oscorp figuring shit out/dealing with one of them the entire time. I feel like all the time they spent on these tween-love scenes between Gwen and Peter is time they could’ve spent actually developing Gwen.

HARRY OSBORN

Oh great, another of my favorite characters done in the shittiest way possible. What’s worse is this is the script’s fault AND the actor’s fault. Even considering how we know now that James Franco is a creepy dude, I’d still defend him as “my Harry Osborn” because Dane Dehaan is just awful in this role, and the character itself here is even worse. Oh, by the way, Norman Osborn is just totally a non-issue because he’s dead…because of some retro-viral-something-or-the-other that’s taken years to kill him, slowly deforming him into what appears to be a goblin (love the subtlety here). Anyway, because this stupid disease makes no sense, Harry apparently has no time and it seems like he’s going to die in a matter of months? Also if Peter and Harry were friends beforehand, how was Peter so confused about everything Oscorp related in the last movie?? You don’t know your way around the facility at all, but you’re best friends with the heir of the corporate empire?

Perhaps the biggest bullshit regarding Harry is this BEYOND STUPID spider blood plot line. Apparently as Harry starts to research what could possibly cure him, he comes across information that leads him to believe that the radioactive spider’s blood is the cure to his goblin illness (which at this point looks like an infected hickey). So he asks Peter to “ask Spider-Man” and Peter visits him as Spider-Man just to say “nah sorry bro”. I can not emphasize how many times I legitimately thought this movie was written by two college screenwriting majors shroomed out of their minds. 

They also choose to resolve this by having Harry’s assistant basically tell him “hey there’s some weird stuff in the basement” and Harry gets a vial of the spider blood he craves (is this an appropriate time to mention that Sony’s doing a Morbius movie starring Jared Leto? Look up Morbius if you don’t know and just imagine that shit-show hitting theaters soon). Just as Peter predicted, this injection accelerates his disease and makes him look like a Goblin too…but he’s suddenly fine because he HOPS INTO THIS MAGICAL GREEN GOBLIN SUIT THAT STABILIZES HIM. If you had the technology all this time to keep this disease at bay…??? Oh my GOD this shit makes no sense whatsoever! 

So of course, naturally, he’s suddenly super good at being the Green Goblin right away, mastering the glider and everything. Then he goes to find Spider-Man for..reasons..and immediately deduces that its Peter and then shit happens and he’s gone. To top it all off as one final middle finger to the audience, Harry’s last scene shows someone inquiring about his life expectancy. He responds by saying “it comes and goes”. REALLY? REALLY??? God this is almost as bad as Peter’s last line about promises in the last movie!

ELECTRO

I think I’ve mentioned creepiness in this post more than any other I’ve written. That being said, even Max Dillon is a weird creepy dude obsessed with Spider-Man after one brief interaction. I always advocate for a good depiction of mental health issues in film, and for the life of me I can not figure out what they were going for here with Max’s psyche (thanks, psychology minor). As its been pointed out on the internet before, if anything, they were going for a modern version of Jim Carrey’s Riddler from Batman Forever (1995). Another shining example of comic book movie incompetence, wonderful.

As for Electro himself, the writers were clearly making up his powers as they went along. From the electric blasts you would expect, to fizzling out, to fast-traveling via electrical outlets…to…creating his own leather suit? I definitely had a “shockingly bad” pun that I was going to use somewhere here, but I don’t even want to take the effort to set it up anymore. It’s not like this movie made any effort to give us a decent antagonist. Also, of course, his motivation is ridiculously unclear. He’s obsessed with Spider-Man one minute, Spidey tries to calm him down in his first attack, then suddenly he has an inexplicable hate boner for Spidey. Speaking of which…

SPIDER-MAN HIMSELF

There’s this scene in a montage where Spidey’s just doing his thing, and he saves a dorky kid from some bullies. The kid’s science project is broken in the process, and Peter picks it up and repairs it. He then walks the kid back home, talking to him about the science project the way there. It is a damn shame that they showed that they clearly understood something about the character with such a gorgeous moment, only to demonstrate a total lack of understanding the character for the remaining duration of the movie. For the most part, my complaints are the same from the last one: Garfield’s portrayal of Peter is just not likable, and they made him into this faux-edge-lord whose own incompetence is half the reason things are bad around him. Oh, but so handsome, right? That’s all that matters, right? At least he told some jokes like Spider-Man always does, right? Yeah well while he’s telling jokes in this opening scene with Rhino, MORE PEOPLE ARE DYING. Peter doesn’t stop what he’s doing to be sarcastic while shit is going down just to get his two cents in, did you think he was Deadpool? Peter actually wants to save people first, his humor doesn’t get in the way of that…it’s more so meant to frustrate and mentally disarm opponents in a fight. Even if they timed it better, the humor just felt incredibly forced. I don’t think I laughed ONCE this movie upon re-watch. The suit looks way better this time though, so good job there I guess.

AS IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH ON THE UNCLEAR PLOTS & SUBPLOTS, HERE ARE MORE

  • Aunt May – So apparently she’s trying to be a Nurse? I don’t know but that’s in there a few times and…I mean sure, but also why? 
  • The Sinister Six – Boy it is really hard to rewatch this movie and all the S6 setup when you know that it’s not going to happen because it all got cancelled. Speaking of which…
  • Rhino – Paul Giamatti, what the fuck are you doing? I know Rhino is supposed to be dumb as bricks, but he’s such a cartoon in a movie where apparently I’m supposed to be focused on struggles and dead parents and stuff? Oh also that super cool shot of the Spidey v Rhino fight in the trailer? Yeah, it’s just that. That’s where the movie cuts off. Fuck you, movie.
  • Felicia Hardy – Harry Osborn’s assistant, Felicia (played by Felicity Jones!), is listed in credits as “Felicia Hardy”…aka another character from the lore that many know as “Black Cat”. Why do I get the feeling that Black Cat was supposed to be here and just wasn’t in the final cut because someone in the writer’s room finally said something about how bloated this movie is. On that note…
  • SHAILENE WOODLEY?? – Many don’t realize this, but Woodley was meant to play Mary Jane Watson in this movie until all her scenes and any mention of the character got deleted. Which just further begs the question of how much shit were they trying to put into this one movie? The final cut was 142 MINUTES LONG, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THERE WERE ORIGINALLY EVEN MORE CHARACTERS AND SUBPLOTS??

If there’s any takeaway from this post other than “movie bad”, it’s that cinematic universes need to be carefully orchestrated. You can’t just throw everything at the wall at once and give no sense of delayed gratification, and you certainly can’t waste time on a plot-line that doesn’t matter. Instead of trying to accomplish a billion different things for the sake of a franchise, maybe try to accomplish one thing first and just make a good/fun movie. There’s no point in creating an overarching story for a pay-off if everything else leading up to it makes no fucking sense. Things have been very good for Spider-Man fans lately, and one can only hope that the character isn’t used as a soulless cash-cow ever again like it was in this series.

I Wish X-Men Was More Popular

I Hope They Remember You

WARNING: This post contains SPOILERS FOR ALL MOVIES IN THE FOX X-MEN FRANCHISE, most recently including DARK PHOENIX. If you prefer not to read, turn away now.

Remember when comic book movies were God awful? Shall I remind us of Daredevil (2003), Catwoman (2004), or Fantastic Four (2005)? Shall I take it a step further and remind us of Elektra (2005), Ghostrider (2007), and my personal pick for the undisputed worst one I have ever witnessed in my lifetime…Ang Lee’s Hulk (2003)? Despite the success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) in the 2010’s, we can’t deny that the medium as a whole has suffered its “dark ages”. However, even in that range, there were gems that critics, fans, and audiences paid good money to see multiple times. I’m talking about Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 2, Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins (2005), and when we have the conversation of early-mid 2000s comic book movies that paved the road, we absolutely have to include Fox’s X-Men Franchise.

It began in the year 2000. Y2K was proven wrong, America dealt with a controversial General Election which was eventually ruled in favor of the GOP (some things never change, huh?), Tiger Woods was still a relevant athlete, Eminem released “The Marshall Mathers LP” (which many listened to via Napster), Friends was still on the air…and Bryan Singer (big oof in 2019, I know) just directed X-Men.

The X-Men are known for being an ensemble, but they are typically led by Charles Xavier (Professor X) and Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto), portrayed by Sir Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian McKellen respectively. Audiences were also introduced to Halle Berry’s Storm, Anna Paquin’s Rogue, and Hugh Jackman’s iconic Wolverine. The first movie received generally positive reviews, was followed by the critically acclaimed X2 (2003), and the infamously bad X-Men: The Last Stand (2006). Seeing as how the movies were indeed making money, and since Fox had the rights to the characters (a simpler time), going beyond the trilogy seemed to make the most sense. Unfortunately, this led to X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), a “laughably bad movie” river that critics on the internet ran dry within weeks of its release. I actually also got a chance to review the movie and pitch my idea for it on The Doctor Script Podcast, which you can find here.

I would definitely not be surprised if you read that last paragraph and forgot about the existence of half of those movies. This is mostly because the “modern” X-Men franchise took off after the original trilogy and Wolverine spin-off, when Matthew Vaughn directed the phenomenal X-Men: First Class (2011). The younger versions of Professor X and Magneto, masterfully portrayed by James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender respectively, kicked off more movies that eventually brought us to where we are today, the end of an era with Dark Phoenix absolutely bombing at the box office. As a fan of the franchise I saw the movie myself, and while I can’t say it was good, I don’t think it was unwatchable or terrible. I honestly just think the general audience forgot about or got bored of the X-Men. It’s pretty plain to see that the franchise wasn’t meticulously planned out like an MCU situation, and while there’s some semblance of a canon, audiences often find themselves having to overlook things and watch some of the later movies in a vacuum especially after the wildly successful branching-off of Logan and Deadpool.

Despite all of this, there was one part of Dark Phoenix that I noticed and actually wanted to explore, and that is what inspired this post. In a world where humanity was originally frightened and hostile towards mutants, Professor X has created a team that has become popular with the general public through acts of service, he even has a direct line to the White House that the President uses for emergencies. Raven, however, comments that a lot of this relationship for the mutants is giving and not getting anything in return, except for Xavier’s countless awards and accolades. Xavier retorts that this is the only way mutants will be accepted into society, and that messing with this relationship even once will result in mutants becoming public enemy number one again. Meanwhile, Magneto is far away in a government-approved shelter providing a home for lost mutants who would rather live isolationist lives.

In 2019’s political climate, where the treatment of minorities seems to be a constant talking point for elected officials, this aspect of the X-Men is absolutely perfect to explore. In the midst of the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s, Marvel Comics architect Stan Lee used his medium of comic books to try and make a difference. He created the world of Wakanda, which almost everyone is familiar with today. “Those stories have room for everyone, regardless of their race, gender, religion, or color of their skin,” Lee said in this video published by Marvel in 2017. “The only things we don’t have room for are hatred, intolerance, and bigotry.” It is entirely true that the world of the X-Men was created to serve as a subtle nod to the struggles of minorities and to explain those struggles in the comic book medium (subtle in the sense that they replaced “minorities” with “mutants”).

We are unfortunately living in somewhat of a resurgence for outwardly bigoted behavior towards minorities. This includes unfair over-incarceration, outright murder by law enforcement, family separation laws, and attempts at banning entire countries from entering a nation that was built by immigrants (many of whom didn’t even come here by choice)…so literally everything Prince N’Jobu and Erik Killmonger were furious with in Black Panther. Make no mistake, my personal favorite and arguably most interesting part of any X-Men story is exploring this dynamic: The Government’s fear-mongering of mutants for political agendas, the mutant community’s inner-conflict on how to deal with their oppression, and the different methodology on how to achieve the same goal demonstrated by Professor X and Magneto.

Rumors are constantly spread about how Professor X was based on Martin Luther King Jr, making Magneto based on Malcolm X. While this has never been outright confirmed, the basic concept rings true. Professor X wants to work with humans and show that mutants have a lot to contribute to society. Magneto views this as being a glorified janitor for humanity’s screw-ups, and he doesn’t share the same hope that his counterpart does. This dynamic has a lot to say about the minority experience, and it is also a look into how modern day activists go about enacting social justice. Essentially, this single theme would enable a creator to bring audiences a movie that not only portrays the nuance of how minorities of various backgrounds feel (Professor X grew up quite privileged, whereas Magneto was a Holocaust survivor), but can also serve as an analysis of our modern protest culture and the political correctness movement itself.

Many are already aware that Fox no longer has the rights to these characters, as they have been bought by Disney to now fall under the MCU umbrella. While Marvel Studios has stated that fans will have to wait a while to see the X-Men on the big screen again, and while the purchase of Fox’s assets by Disney have caused a lot of unrest in the industry, I have high hopes that the same studio that brought us Black Panther and Captain Marvel can focus on this powerful dynamic between Charles and Erik. I will always fondly remember Stewart/McAvoy and McKellen/Fassbender as these characters, and I implore anyone reading this to take some time and do the same.

Of course, Marvel/Disney could always just choose to give us more of the Phoenix Force, more of Wolverine’s personal conflict, and more dick jokes with Deadpool. Or they could choose to use these characters to give us something real, thought provoking, and culturally relevant. One can only hope they give us the latter.

Recommended Viewing:

  1. X-Men: The Animated Series*
  2. X-Men: First Class
  3. X2
  4. X-Men: Evolution*
  5. X-Men: Days of Future Past

*Television series, available for purchase on Amazon Prime Video and iTunes.

Endgame & Game of Thrones: Using One to Explain Where the Other Went Wrong

Perfectly Balanced in the Worst Way Possible

WARNING – THIS POST CONTAINS HUGE SPOILERS FOR AVENGERS: ENDGAME & THE THIRD EPISODE OF THE EIGHTH SEASON OF GAME OF THRONES. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE READING WITHOUT HAVING SEEN THE ONE(S) YOU CARE ABOUT.

This weekend was always meant to be an anticipated and emotional one for nerds and fans of pop culture in general. On the silver screen, an unprecedented narrative across 22 films and 11 years was coming to an end. On television, viewers (including those who have waited since 2011) were finally going to see a built-up threat shrouded in mystery and mysticism become a tangible adversary for humanity. No one could deny the hype behind both Avengers: Endgame and The Long Night.

Despite being wildly different fictional universes that require different suspensions of disbelief, the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) and Game of Thrones (GoT) have more common ground than one would think. The obvious one being that both are based on source material from books. While Marvel Comics was founded in 1961, A Song of Ice and Fire’s first book, A Game of Thrones, was published in 1996.

The constant retcons in comics and the nature of comic writing as opposed to fantasy novel writing allowed the MCU some freedom to bring the story into a modern and more streamlined setting. They didn’t have to follow the source material page-for-page. They simply had to do the characters right and pay homage where it is due. As long as you’re doing that and still telling a good story and sticking to your theme, it’s completely okay to put a scene where an overweight Thor yells at some gen-Z degenerate who is bullying Korg on Fortnite. It makes more sense than what happened in The Long Night, at least.

Fantasy novels are different, especially when you’re trying to finish an uncompleted book series on television. You don’t have to include every single minute detail that an author will take the time to do, but you still have to commit to the main beats of the story and the theme. That’s where the issue with The Long Night lies.

A Song of Ice and Fire is fundamentally a story about how war, petty political squabbles amongst noble houses, and monarchs who put their needs above the realm ultimately plunge said realm into an endless cycle of chaos and innocent lives being taken. The final test is a supernatural threat that gives humanity a choice between unity and death. If you recall the first few pages/episodes of the story in a specific chapter/scene from Daenerys Targaryen’s point of view:

“‘The common people pray for rain, healthy children, and a summer that never ends,’ Ser Jorah told her. ‘It is no matter to them if the high lords play their game of thrones, so long as they are left in peace.’ He gave a shrug. ‘They never are.’”
– George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones (1996), Daenerys (III)

For my Parks & Recreation fans out there, also recall when Ser Ben Lighstorm Ben Wyatt was being the lovable nerd he is, and responded to being teased about his love of GoT by saying “It’s about telling real life stories in a fantasy setting”. As funny as that moment was, he was spot on.

GRRM’s story has often been proclaimed as an allegory for our real-life socio-political environment. While ours has gotten insane as of late, which allows people to often force metaphors that were not originally intended (i.e. Trump = Joffrey), GRRM absolutely meant the threat of the White Walkers to be an allegory for climate change and has confirmed this. Surprise, environmental issues aren’t a new concern, we’re just dealing with it very poorly. Hell, President Jimmy Carter was haunted by the energy crisis much like Prince Rhaegar Targaryen was haunted by the Long Night, both trying to lay some groundwork so that future leaders can lead the fight (History and ASOIAF buffs can nitpick that, but I hope that made sense as a very general metaphor).

The point being, there is a supernatural threat that can’t be beaten by humanity being divided and by conventional means. On top of that, you better believe that the threat does not discriminate the way we do…it’s coming for all of us.

So what’s the point then? Look, when I digest fiction I look for three main things: storytelling, themes, and characters. Despite my nitpicks in Avengers: Endgame, after this weekend it became clear to me that the minds behind the MCU cared about those things and meticulously planned out everything they could. The minds behind GoT absolutely did not care.

The MCU also chose to go this route of storytelling due to what they did with Thanos. Tony Stark developed a severe anxiety disorder and PTSD after the Battle of New York. The main reason? He saw what was coming. He went into the wormhole to stop a nuke from hitting NY, he defeated the Chitauri and realized immediately that this wasn’t the end. Due to his fears of “we’re too late” and “what are we supposed to do about that?”, he created Ultron which ended up being an issue for the Avengers in and of itself. We see our heroes make mistakes all throughout the saga (there are so many characters, so let’s just focus on the two pivotal ones): Steve Rogers and Tony Stark broke apart the Avengers and they were spread too thin when Thanos himself arrived. The Russo brothers themselves have confirmed that the main reason the Avengers lost in Infinity War was because they were divided after Civil War. We saw a petty political squabble break apart our chances. We saw Tony jumping the gun without properly explaining himself. We saw Steve not thinking big enough to foresee the threat. Most importantly? We saw the Avengers lose.

In Endgame, they got a second chance (friendly reminder that in real life, we don’t get quantum realm shenanigans to go back in time and fix our mistakes). Not only did our heroes use this second chance, but they all overcame what was bigger than themselves. Tony Stark, a man who was criticized as only fighting for himself, truly thought about all of humanity and sacrificed his life to save billions. Steve Rogers, a man who was criticized as a self-righteous prick who forces fights because he can’t live without war, let go of his “soldier” persona and embraced simply being a good man. They let go of their personal baggage, stopped fighting each other, and succeeded against a world-ending threat in Thanos.

So why the long face when talking about The Long Night? To reiterate, A Song of Ice and Fire is fundamentally a story about how war, petty political squabbles amongst noble houses, and monarchs who put their needs above the realm ultimately plunge said realm into an endless cycle of chaos and innocent lives being taken. The final test is a supernatural threat that gives humanity a choice between unity and death…

…Except that supernatural threat now feels like a minor inconvenience, the people who put their needs above the realm are now in the right, and we’re back to war and petty political squabbles that are going to take more innocent lives. It’s an objectively terrible way to end the story.

With the Night King defeated in one episode, now we are left with Cersei Lannister and Euron Greyjoy being the biggest threats to the realm. Cersei’s incredibly selfish and stupid plan of denying the long night, waiting until the rest of the world dealt with it, and then plunging the realm into war again seems all but certain. Where is the breaking of the wheel? Where is the great supernatural threat of the White Walkers? What was the point of Jon Snow and Bran Stark’s arcs? What was the point of the Children of the Forest? So Old Nan really WAS just full of it, huh?

It’s almost insulting from a narrative standpoint. In the world the show-runners have created, the Long Night will go down in history as another “fairy tale the Northerners made up”, grumpkins and snarks as it was once said by Tyrion Lannister. This feels like the only people who won were the ones denying the threat. It serves as validation for people that put their inane drama over a united and cooperative human race. Not only is that not what GRRM presumably intended, but that also isn’t a world that I—and many people who are much better human beings than I—want to live in.

I’m no film student, and I’m no writer, but I don’t like to complain without providing solutions. A part of me genuinely thinks that this season would have been better if this episode was an incredibly tough battle where the living came out on top by being better tacticians (i.e. flanking with the Dothraki, Jon Snow using Ghost to scope the landscape just like Robb Stark used to do with Grey Wind, actually making use of a famously tough castle to breach, etc). You can still have fan-service moments like Arya Stark solo killing a Walker, Jon Snow running at a horde of wights with Ghost beside him and Rhaegal above him, Theon Greyjoy going out in a blaze of glory, and Lyanna Mormont defeating a giant. The end would be Bran Stark, who has warged into his ravens, realizing that the Night King totally skipped over Winterfell and went straight for King’s Landing. The ones who denied the threat are now suffering it, and the army of the living has to make one last stand despite their numbers being heavily depleted. That finale is where you would have your prophecies pay off, aka Valonqar and Azor Ahai, because this is still a fantasy story and the books deserve that homage.

One can only hope that the books handle everything a lot better (or, you know, ever even finish). As for the show’s message? Suffer more, common folk. The lords and ladies will continue to play the game of thrones and get us all killed, even after being threatened by an eternal winter.

I suppose Jon Snow isn’t the only one who knows nothing.

Movie Review: Ant-Man and the Wasp

It takes two to tango…

[THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS OR MAJOR PLOT DETAILS IN THIS REVIEW, ONLY WHAT WAS REVEALED IN TRAILERS AND INTERVIEWS]

If anyone has any suggestions for how to survive 8 whole months without an MCU movie, I’m open to ideas. Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good…

Ant-Man and the Wasp is the 20th installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and is a direct sequel to Ant-Man (2015), both movies being directed by Peyton Reed. It also serves as a nice catch-up with Scott Lang himself after the last time we see him in Captain America: Civil War (2016). We pick up with Scott on a house-arrest as punishment for being involved in Captain America’s crusade that violated the Sokovia Accords. Not only does this lead to a fallout between him, Hank Pym, and Hope Van Dyne, it also complicates his situation of wanting to be a better father to his own daughter.

Just like the previous Ant-Man movie, this one feels like a huge breath of fresh air after the MCU just came off of a much more intense movie, and it also does what I liked about the last one where it touches on how the drama of such larger than life figures like the Avengers can affect regular people like Scott who are just trying to do better. Its why I appreciate that the MCU went with Scott Lang instead of Hank Pym as their designated Ant-Man, as I feel Hank would’ve just been “science bros” with Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, or be too similar of a character.

So how does the actual movie stack up in a year where Black Panther and Avengers: Infinity War already have made their impact on audiences and the box office? Admittedly, it is tough to keep up the momentum from two groundbreaking films such as those, but Ant-Man and the Wasp succeeds in giving us a positive, fun, and real look into its themes of family, partnership, and friendship. There no other way to put it: This has probably been the most successful year for Marvel Studios creatively and financially.

To get some criticisms out of the way first, the movie follows multiple “antagonists” (not to be confused with henchmen, they actually had their own agendas) to go along with the main one, which fell a little flat for me in a year where we got such focused villains as Killmonger and Thanos. Its not that having multiple is a bad thing, but the movie had Hannah John-Kamen acting incredibly well alongside Laurence Fishburne, only to spend time with Walton Goggins playing a throwaway “bad guy” with poor motivation. I would’ve rather spent that time exploring the dynamic between the other two or giving the time to Randall Park’s FBI character, who knocked it out of the park for the comedic aspect of the movie. The best thing done by Goggins’ character was the set-up for Luis (Micheal Pena) to go on one of his signature monologues, which was even funnier than the ones he does in the previous Ant-Man.

Piggybacking off of that point, I think most of the actors disappeared into their characters in this one and that really made the movie keep its positive and up-beat momentum. Paul Rudd is fantastic as always, but I have to give major props to Abby Ryder Fortson, who plays Scott’s daughter Cassie. All of her scenes with Paul Rudd made the audience feel like their father-daughter dynamic was real. Evangeline Lily played Hope with less of a “faux-intense” feel and seemed more present as a character. I also liked Scott’s “crew” of Luis, Kurt, and Dave more so than the last time we saw them. Not only are their lines and delivery just better, but the humor feels organic in the sense that I can actually believe that these are three friends hanging out and joking with each other. The humor also didn’t undercut emotional moments as badly as it did in the previous Ant-Man, and there’s one scene in particular (no spoilers obviously) where there is a nice character moment that is being supplemented with humor due to the situation, and I wasn’t sure how it was going to work out at first…and it ended up being one of my favorite scenes after it was over because the choice of the humor made actually worked.

I guess my only big thing is that the third act did the “MCU thing” in the sense that there was a lot happening, it got a bit messy, and it was only carried onward through the elements of fun and some surprise. Compared to what we’ve seen recently too, this one felt a bit inconsequential. That’s me nit-picking, because this still genuinely was such a blast in theaters and I actually look forward to another Ant-Man/Wasp movie later on in phase 4 or something to give us breathing room after the dramatic closing of the Infinity Saga that is sure to follow. If that’s the role that these characters are going to serve in the MCU, I don’t really have a complaint with that. It’s nice to take a break from super-geniuses, Demigods, sorcerers, and assassins to follow some very human characters.

Ant-Man and the Wasp gets an 8.5/10

Guest Post: Movie Review – Incredibles 2

Jack-Jack vs Raccoon was the best fight scene of the year

GUEST ALERT! This piece was written and contributed by Nick Curl, who had the following to say:

“Soggz wants me to plug myself but I’m not sure what to plug. I do wedding and portrait photography, so you can check me out on The Knot at https://tinyurl.com/ybe4ltg4. You can also follow me on Twitter and Instagram @nickcurl.”

Nick is an amazing person and I loved this review, be sure to check out his photography. Spoiler: He’s pretty incredible at that too!

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With a film title of Incredibles, you’ve already put a fair amount of pressure on yourself to live up to that word. And not only did writer/director Brad Bird do that with his 2004 groundbreaking Pixar Animation film The Incredibles, he has seemingly done the impossible fourteen years later: create a seamless transition to a part two, a film that is just as subversive, sharp, insightful, and gorgeous as the original.

I saw The Incredibles when I was eight-years-old with my dad, and I honestly don’t know who enjoyed the movie more. It was everything I could possibly want in a movie, and I proceeded to watch it about twenty more times when it was released on DVD. I patiently waited for a sequel for years, wanting to know if the Parr family successfully took down the Underminer, how Violet’s date with Tony Rydinger went, if Dash became a track and field superstar, and what was going to happen with Jack-Jack, the baby with multiple powers. Now, after fourteen years, I’ve gotten the answers (and so much more) that eight-year-old me was dying to know.

The film picks up immediately where we left off: the Parrs, having successfully defeated Syndrome, are beginning to live a “normal” life, watching Dash decide where to place in his 200 meter sprint, when the Underminer begins his rampage on Municiberg. Following their (somewhat) successful attempt at stopping the Underminer, the government decides that it’s time, once and for all, to retire the Supers. Defeated and living in a motel, the Parrs are approached by communications mogul, Winston Deavor (the fantastic Bob Odenkirk), and his sister, Evelyn (Catherine Keener; truly top-notch voice work across the board), who promise Mr. Incredible (Craig T. Nelson, who steps into the role like he never left) and Elastigirl (Holly Hunter, who steals every scene with just her voice) — and all supers – the opportunity to come out of hiding.

From there, the film takes off and exponentially gains momentum to a thrilling climax reminiscent of Speed 2 (but infinitely better, I promise). The film’s A-plot, centered around Helen/Elastigirl vs an enigmatic villain, the Screenslaver, is the movie’s only disappointing aspect due to its predictability and the sense that Bird was phoning-in this aspect of the film. Without spoiling anything, the Screenslaver starts out as a truly creepy, well-motivated villain (he has a speech in the second act which felt straight out of USA’s Mr. Robot), but quickly becomes a generic character who, most disappointingly, acts against the rules that Bird had so expertly established in the first film. In The Incredibles, Lucius/Frozone (Samuel L. Jackson, thankfully with a much larger role this time around) and Bob/Mr. Incredible have a hilarious conversation which jabs at one of the superhero-genre’s most irritating tropes: villains monologuing when they, realistically, should just get on with their plan and/or kill the Superhero they have prisoner. It was a phenomenal moment of genre-subverting self-awareness which made the original so iconic. Now, in an identical situation as the one Frozone described in the first film, our villain “monologues” for no reason other than to explain to the audience exactly what their motivation is. It was a disappointing moment in an otherwise spectacular film which goes out of its way to treat the superhero-genre with a realism and relatability that is rarely, if ever, seen from Marvel or DC.

So, despite the film’s weak A-plot, literally every other moment had a smile glued on my face like I was eight-years-old again. With Helen off being the face of the Supers’ Return, Bob takes up the role of stay-at-home-dad. This is where the film truly shines. Watching Bob learn the ins-and-outs of parenting his three vastly different children with vastly different issues is both hilarious and rings true for just about everyone. Violet, with her teen angst over Tony Rydinger, Dash’s homework (which produces possibly the film’s greatest line, “I don’t know that way! Why would they change math?”), and Jack-Jack’s burgeoning superpowers. Each relationship is handled with such care and joy that it’s evident if Brad Bird could’ve made a three-hour film centered around the everyday lives of our Super-family, he would’ve. And, of course, everyone’s favorite designer returns to the fun as well. Tasked with babysitting Jack-Jack overnight, Edna Mode (voiced by Brad Bird himself) is initially reluctant (“I’m an artist”), but is soon more than willing to not only watch Jack-Jack, but take him on as an apprentice of sorts (which leads to the film’s second-best gag).

The animation on display is spectacular and visually arresting. We’re still in the same world we know and love, but with finer detail everywhere you look. The cinematography is some of the best Pixar has ever produced (I’m not sure anything will top 2015’s The Good Dinosaur), and it makes for an even more immersive experience than the first film. Standout scenes include the Underminer battle, the train sequence with Elastigirl (a fantastic parallel to the first film), and the first battle with the Screenslaver (if you’re epileptic, be ready to turn away for about a minute). Brad Bird’s skill as a visually storyteller has never been clearer, and neither has his love for the Parrs.

In a market over-saturated with superheroes, whether they’re Avengers, X-Men, or the Justice League, Brad Bird has proven, once again, that finding the truth in your characters and their relationships is more important than any superpowers on display. But the powers are fun too.

19 Responses to 19 Questions About Infinity War

The nerdy version of rap battles is cross-promoting blogs.

Hello everyone! I’m back from a small break from writing and podcasting and its only fitting that we pick up where we left off with Avengers: Infinity War. I’m sure everyone has seen it at this point so SPOILERS will be present in this post…but what exactly is this post?

My good friend, previously featured guest-writer (responsible for the Ready Player One Review), and fellow co-host of the “Overrated” Podcast, Uday Mehta, wrote this piece. It featured 19 pretty reasonable questions about the movie that most audiences who might’ve missed some context would have. As his friend and MCU fanboy, I decided to respond to all 19. I highly recommend you read his piece before reading this, but just in case you’re lazy I’ll be shortening his questions on this. 19 responses, here we go:

1. How did Thanos defeat the combined forces of Thor, Loki, and Hulk with only one Infinity Stone?

So “just one stone” is 100% not a pushover, as we’ve seen in the previous MCU movies. The Power stone is literally all you need to cause the kind of damage you saw in the opening scene. Remember Guardians of the Galaxy and the Collector’s whole deal where “even dropping it on the ground would decimate the planet”? Star-Lord could only hold it because he was half-celestial back then, so beings of that level of power (i.e. Asgardian warriors, Celestials, Hulks, etc) could survive, albeit very damaged.

The “Black order is useless” thing is because you’re viewing through the lens of their short screen-time (For Example: Odin is probably the most powerful being in the MCU but we dont see that in a movie, we just see old/dying/dead). Even then, we do see that Maw and Obsidian are heavy hitters, and Thanos’ ship definitely caught Thor’s ship by surprise,  so it does make sense why that’d hurt the Asgardians hard as well.

As for Hulk, his specific power is that he gets stronger the angrier he gets (in The Incredible Hulk, Abomination was definitely stronger at their base levels. Hulk only won because Abomination pissed him off hard enough). If you watch the scene again (now that you’ve done some boxing, which I only know cuz I follow you on instagram) Thanos didn’t give him a chance to. Thanos clearly knows how to fight and focuses his hits on pressure points to disable Hulk, and Hulk doesn’t really fight anyone insanely knowledgeable in technique like that. 

This next point is going to be huge in answering a lot of your questions: Thematically speaking, this movie is about the inevitability of failure and the fact that it doesn’t discriminate. Sometimes you absolutely must fail before you succeed. Every hero messes up in this film some way or another, in this specific case: Hulk was overconfident because he’s never really lost a fight (The Hulkbuster knocked him out in Ultron and Thunder God Thor would’ve won in Ragnarok if not for the Grandmaster’s intervention). It was important to show someone as reliable in a fight as Hulk get easily defeated by Thanos “having fun” (line from Maw).

2. How did Cap know where Vision and Wanda were?

This is also entirely possible and there’s a few ways to look at this.

This may be extra MCU canon released in one of the deleted scenes or tie-in comics, but during the 2 years between Civil War and Infinity War, most of the former “Team Cap” form a covert hit-squad (inspired by the concept of the “Secret Avengers” in the Marvel continuity). This squad was able to resolve conflicts in Syria and Lebanon due to Natasha’s former KGB connections. Additionally, it was established that Steve was friendly with Wakanda, and they’re more than capable of finding people who don’t want to be found (line from Natasha in Civil War).

Even if you say “well that’s all extra and not in the movie”, you can just draw the conclusion that they were keeping tabs on Wanda, seeing as how she escaped with them and probably helped them too. You can get this from Wanda’s line where she mentions “We both made promises”. Of course she would give her team her location in case things go sour. They still ARE all technically wanted fugitives by the UN, its natural for them to have some sort of distress signal. 

3. Is it time to write the non-powered characters out of the franchise?

Definitely not, as its important to have a variety of characters to work with so that they all have different perspectives and make a better ensemble cast. Yeah they don’t have “Superpowers” but they’re not just regular people either…they’re highly talented, specially trained, and gifted in what they do (think people like Nightwing and Green Arrow on the DC side).

The more important thing I need to make clear here: Spider-man and Ant-man VERY LITERALLY earned their suits. They were both specifically given to them by their mentor figures in separate movies. A whole different person owned the suit and had to LITERALLY make the decision of “Hm, should I give this kid my suit or not?” and they decided “yes”.

4. Did Tony seriously think that taking the time stone to Thanos was a good idea?

Honestly? He probably didn’t think it 100% through. However that’s entirely reasonable for someone with an anxiety disorder/PTSD like Tony Stark. There’s two ways to look at this:

On one hand, you could say that he couldn’t control the nerves and made a decision based on panic. On the other, you could say that he absolutely did not want ANY bodies dropping on earth anymore, and made the decision to not make New York a battleground again (when Maw first landed, Tony very noticeably starts freaking out a little which you can tell from his dialogue/RDJ’s acting when interacting with the civilians and talking to his AI). Or maybe he just didn’t want to get Secretary of State Ross involved, which he legally must do according to the Sokovia Accords. Lastly, refer to earlier point about the movie’s theme, everyone in this movie makes bad calls despite good intention and that’s the point.

5. Was it necessary to kill off Ebony Maw so early?

It definitely would’ve been cool to have him around more. It also would’ve been cool to have at least half the Black Order stick around for the next movie. However, this is a director decision that also serves a purpose. Thanos losing his children juxtaposes the heroes not being able to part ways with what they care about (Strange and Wong saying they have to protect the time stone because of an oath, Spider-Man not willing to just go home, Wanda not willing to kill Vision right away, etc.). Thanos knew that this mission would cost him everything, children included.

6. Can we all agree that Thor is the coolest Avenger?

Shoutout to my man Taika Waititi for directing the fantastic Thor: Ragnarok. Objectively, yes Thor is the coolest Avenger now. I DO want to also mention that Strange was fantastic in this movie and deserves equal props.

7. Why did the heroes give away the infinity stones so easily?

Heroes are empathetic people who care about everyone around them, but they’re also regular humans that have attachments. Even then, in a situation where your sister was being tortured by your psychotic father in front of your eyes, I’m pretty sure most people would give in. Also, same concept and themes of acceptance, loss, failure, etc.

8. Why did Captain America not already have his shield?

Because it makes for an amazing hype line, duh. In all seriousness, Cap dropping his shield to Tony in Civil War is symbolism more than anything. He’s stopped believing in political leaders (think Winter Soldier, Civil War, and him telling off Ross in Infinity War), He’s not the leader of the Avengers anymore, and he’s giving Tony a piece of his father back (Howard Stark designed the shield) due to his guilt of not telling Tony what happened regarding his parents’ death. Which brings him to Wakanda: Cap isn’t the type of guy that’s going to ask T’Challa to make him a special shield. He already feels bad enough that T’Challa was willing to help out Bucky and reveal their location to Cap, he probably wasn’t going to be like “Oh BTW, lost my shield…got another one?” Especially considering that he maybe shouldn’t have had the vibranium in the first place, as its a Wakandan resource.

9. Why go through an entire post-credit scene with the Collector if Thanos was going to get the reality stone off screen?

The Collector was never really that important to be honest. This strikes me as a decision made back when Kevin Feige didn’t have 100% control over everything and they just had to roll with it. Also yeah I’m also not a fan of Benicio so I’ll agree with you there.

10. Since when did Scarlet Witch get that powerful? What exactly are her powers?

Her powers all fall under the big umbrella of Psionics. This includes neuro-electrical interfacing, telekinesis, energy manipulation, telepathy, etc.

Scarlet Witch is one of the most powerful characters in Marvel Canon, so I guess making her this buffed up was just a nod to the source material (read “House of M”, I highly recommend). I dont know how else to explain it to you. It is known, Khaleesi.

11. How strong is Ironman really?

So a big side-effect of Tony’s anxiety disorder is that (since the battle of NY) he’s constantly making new and improved suits because he’s preparing for the inevitable doomsday that no one else seems to understand (see Iron Man 3 and Ultron). He stopped making sentry bots because they all got hacked by Ultron, so he presumably just started improving suits. Civil War takes place in 2016, with Infinity War taking place in 2018. Since that time, Tony has had a lot of time (all the threats we see in movies before were confined to one area) to work on this AND Wakanda opened up its scientific outreach center in Oakland in 2016 as well. Its fair to say he had the money, time, and resources to make the nano-tech suit (it looked SO GOOD on screen!!).

12. How strong is Vision really?

Vision is supposedly an S-Tier hero because of the mind stone…but unfortunately he kinda got the bad end of the deal where he’s written to be what the writers need him to be (I’m a fanboy for sure, but I can acknowledge error easily. Speaking of which…)

13. What happened to Wanda’s accent? 

Yeah it didn’t stick. I have zero ways of defending this. It happened. Wanda’s still great though!

14. Why did Eitri not have it together when making Thor’s ax?

Bro…the dude just lost his entire race and his hands. He’s probably reeling from insane survivor’s guilt and a huge lack of confidence.

15. Can we stop using time travel as a driving construct in these movies?

Again, I’m assuming this was out of respect for the source material, because the time stone is in the comics. While time travel is really hard to write about, I think the MCU handles it well, and while most speculations think that Avengers 4 is going to revolve around some timey-whimey loopholes, a lot of people are forgetting the Quantum Realm (from Ant-Man) and I think that’ll be the more likely construct since they have yet to expand on it fully. As for the “no stakes” comment, the beauty of the movie is that everyone with the plot-armor (aka confirmed sequels) disappeared and its really the people who are left that aren’t safe. Plus, I think the movie did its job because every time I watched it (4 times, no shame) people audibly gasped when Panther and Spidey disappeared. It was still an emotional gut-punch.

16. Why was Red Skull’s appearance necessary?

Well it’s the most plausible appearance out of the dead villains. Red Skull was transported to Vormir by the Tesseract (space stone) and probably tried to take the Soul Stone as well (the extra fan theory is that he became a spooky ghost because when the Soul Stone asked him to give up what he loved, the only thing he did care about was himself). It checks out, plus its nice to see Red Skull back as a comic fan.

17. Why was War Machine left alive with the other original Avengers?

To Rhoadey’s credit, he’s been around in the MCU since 2008 (albeit portrayed by Terrance Howard instead of Don Cheadle). Also, it wasn’t just the OG Avengers left alive, you still got Nebula, Rocket, Okoye, and Captain Marvel’s gonna show up. Hell, we dont really know what happened to Hawkeye, Ant-Man, and Wasp yet.

18.  Uday bashes Star-Lord for a bit

I have no response to this because Star-Lord is still on my top 5 MCU boys (Steve, Quill, Strange, Banner, T’Challa), but I will take this time to address people to STOP HARASSING ACTORS, YOU IDIOTS. CHRIS PRATT IS CHRIS PRATT, HE PLAYS STAR-LORD. Y’ALL WERE WRONG FOR DOING THIS TO KELLY MARIE TRAN, ALSO WRONG TO DO IT TO PRATT (although its much less hate than KMT got. Stay strong, homegirl. Toxic Star Wars fans are pathetic losers anyway).

19. Uday goes on about why Nick Fury has a pager to page Captain Marvel

Okay so we don’t know the connection yet because that movie is still filming, HOWEVER they have already revealed that Captain Marvel will take place in the 90’s, making pagers a legitimate tool. Plus, Fury wouldn’t have called her beforehand because there was no need to. Upon recognizing that this might be the end of humanity, Fury made the call instantly.

Movie Review – Avengers: Infinity War

#ThanosDemandsYourSilence

[THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS OR MAJOR PLOT DETAILS IN THIS REVIEW, ONLY WHAT WAS REVEALED IN TRAILERS AND INTERVIEWS]

[It is not required, but is highly recommended that you read this piece before continuing on]

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Avengers: Infinity War is the 19th installment in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) and is the beginning of the end of the era informally known as the “Infinity Saga”. For those who don’t know by now, the past 10 years and 18 movies have all been pointing towards this. Each one has been building to the plot for this particular film and the untitled Avengers follow up film to be released in May 2019. As I’m writing this review, the movie has already broken all records for “biggest opening weekend”, surpassing the previous record-holder, Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It is safe to say that this is one of those movies that are more of a cinematic event and cultural phenomenon than a simple blockbuster. Its obvious that so many people wanted to see every MCU hero all in one place, but it was also common to speculate if such a balancing act could even be done properly. So how does it stack up as a movie?

Much like the MCU, let’s start with the smaller things and build up. First off, writers Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely (from Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Captain America: Civil War) have delivered once again. This script is compact, and almost every line accomplishes something to drive forward either the plot or a character’s motivation/feelings. With a movie so huge in runtime it would’ve been easy to feel like some time would be wasted, but I didn’t feel like any part was a drag. The movie follows different groups of characters on different locations, and will then bring them together or separate them with a sense of fluidity. The structure of the film is of course supplemented by the beautiful visual effects with one or two shots that were absolutely breathtaking. However, the structure was also tied together by very specific theming that was prominent throughout the film, although being more specific about this would be a spoiler so I’ll move on.

Perhaps some of the best parts of this movie are directing choices by the Russo Brothers (also from Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Captain America: Civil War). As you may have read in some of my pieces before, I’m very big on directors and executives actually handling these famous and iconic characters with a sense of care. I was pleased to see that the directors let the moments between these characters sit and sink in. What makes comic books so fun is that you have an assortment of characters, so many that are larger than life, all interacting with each other. It was understood by the Russo brothers that these interactions and moments were important to making this film happen.

Aside from good moments with our heroes, a project of this size also needed the villain to have a sense of grandeur and to be threatening enough, and I’m very happy to say that the Mad Titan Thanos fully delivered on this expectation. This version of Thanos is much more understandable and grounded than his comic counterpart, making him more concerned with real issues than with his love for Mistress Death (seriously, look it up). While being clearly insane and menacing, an audience can still feel sympathy for him during certain scenes where his arc is depicted. As mentioned up above, the Russo brothers take their time to make sure viewers understand what Thanos actually is.

My complaints with this one are pretty minimal, and they’re mostly understandable with how insanely difficult this whole thing was. There were some details or one-liners that were included that I felt were unnecessary, mostly because I wanted those precious minutes to go towards some other aspects that didn’t get as much attention. I’m keeping this review short because there really isn’t a lot I can say without giving away important things about the movie.

All I really can say is that this movie is equally a cinematic spectacle and a real story about something. It’s well balanced and accomplishes everything it sets out to do by keeping things simple and elegant at the same time. Anyone who’s seen even a few of the MCU movies will find something to appreciate here, and it overwhelms you in a way that only a few films can.

Knowing that I’ve fully ousted myself as an MCU fanboy, and knowing that my review can be taken from a very particular point of view, I’m still going to give Avengers: Infinity War a 9.5/10