Hype for Homecoming: Spider-Man 3

Part 3 of 5: Jazz hands and tears

[WARNING: Posts of this nature aren’t traditional “reviews”. Expect the following: spoilers, potentially mindless ramblings, lack of proper sentence structure, and profane language. There is a summary section at the end of the bullet points that you can skip to for convenience.]

*Inhales*….”Spider-Man 3″…is…a movie that exists. I’m going to try to get through this keeping as much sanity as I can, but this movie essentially boils down to being way too scattered and it just ends up feeling like butter spread out over too much bread. Look, I don’t think this movie is one of the atrociously bad comic-book movies of the 2000’s. Even if you look at the other two that came out in 2007, its “Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer” and “Ghost Rider”…yeah, those were way worse. What I DO think is that this is the first example of a comic-book movie having insane hype, but tries to do way too much and falls flat on its face…regardless of if these were decisions by Sony or some other external factor interfering with Raimi’s work, OR if it was just a huge goof by Raimi himself. I actually discussed this in a previous post you can find here where I name the phenomenon after THIS movie…and for good reason. In any case…*sigh* here we go.

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Oh sure, SPIDER-MAN’S ARCH-NEMESIS FROM THE COMICS, show up in the last 30 minutes of the movie! GENIUS.
  • Okay the first act of this movie actually feels like a Raimi Spider-Man movie, we establish where our characters are, there’s a few nice moments between them, we get a fight between Peter and Harry (as the new Green Goblin), and it actually feels like the movie has gracefully taken off…and then we get to the “Harry memory loss” subplot and you kinda start to think “well…what now?” TWO OTHER VILLAINS, A LIFETIME DRAMA, AND BAD DANCING, THATS WHAT!
  • The whole idea to put Sandman in this movie actually sums up how I feel about this movie. Its a weird mix of moments that worked, stuff that made no sense, and stuff that made me think that ANYONE in the writer’s room could’ve pointed out a way to do it better. EXAMPLE: Scene where Sandman is materializing and trying to grab his daughter’s locket? Works for me, good moment supplemented by the score. Making Sandman aka Flint Marko be the “real” Uncle Ben’s murderer? Makes no sense when you put that sub-plot to bed a LONG time ago…why go back to alter the turning point of the first movie? Scene where these scientists conduct the experiment anyway thinking “the change in the mass is just a bird that will fly away”?…a screenwriting intern could’ve spoken out against this. What. The. Fuck. EVEN I KNOW that is a GIANT no-no in any laboratory/test of ANY kind.
  • Why…DEAR GOD WHY…does Peter decide to kiss Gwen in front of MJ? Yes, it makes sense for him to get a little cocky, but what the hell were the writers thinking making Spidey SO OUT OF CHARACTER here? The entire MJ drama and eventual love-triangle with Harry just blows and seems so out of place, if you ask me that’s what brings this movie down the most. A lot of other things are forced too, but this made the LEAST amount of sense.
  • Let’s talk about the Symbiote. I don’t think including it in the movie was a bad call itself, but the way it was handled just seemed choppy. Probably due to the conflicting sub-plots and having to find a way to jam this piece of the puzzle in to a space that doesn’t exactly fit? I mean even if you just had Harry be the villain, yeah you could fit the Symbiote in…and the scenes with Black-suit Spider-Man are cool…but, again…too much, too scattered, blaahh.
  • In a series with such great casting…Topher Grace’s casting as Eddie Brock is just the fucking worst. The only reason I’m okay with a standalone Venom reboot is because I can forget about this version….unless Sony fucks the new one up too.
  • I just finished the part where Harry’s manipulation of Peter and MJ’s relationship is done and he tells Peter “I’m the other guy” (WHO THOUGHT THIS SUBPLOT WAS A GOOD IDEA??). Aside from Harry suddenly becoming Batman and vanishing in to thin air, I’m gonna just end this with a bullet each for what was cool and what pissed me off.
  • What I liked: The suit-less fight between Harry and Peter is really cool…and has some real tension. Would’ve been cooler if Peter didn’t decide to be emo and look like the lead singer of a punk band; Peter ripping off the symbiote in the church is a well-done scene; Spidey teaming up with Goblin Jr. to fight Sandman and Venom is dope, nice to see superheroes team up in the pre-avengers era.
  • What sucked: Jazz choreography…dear LORD this entire part at the Jazz club just didn’t need to happen. You mean to tell me there was NO OTHER WAY Peter could hurt MJ and realize what he’s become? Anyone?; Fucking BUTLER-EX-MACHINA finally telling Harry that his dad was a psycho that killed himself. How did the Butler even know what Harry was going through? Just because Norman died by his own glider doesn’t exactly prove much…I mean someone else could’ve still done that to him. Why wouldn’t the Butler have just told Harry that in the first place? These guys are rich as fuck, did NO ONE perform an autopsy to see exactly how he died? 2.5 movies worth of Harry growing to hate Peter is undone by ONE piece of exposition from his BUTLER??; Wait so now NO ONE killed Uncle Ben? I seriously don’t know why they did this, “random robber” is SO MUCH EASIER than this entire ordeal with Flint…ugh.
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ALL OF MY TEARS.

Look, I don’t HATE “Spider-Man 3”. Obviously, it has its problems that seemed really avoidable..like if someone told you there’s a brick wall in front of you, you clearly see it, but you bump in to it lightly anyway. When you actually figure out what’s going on (which takes multiple watches) and forgive the stupidity, you can at least enjoy the movie. Despite things that made less sense, AT LEAST characters still had motives and I understood why they were doing things..which is more than I’ll be able to say for the next two parts in my Spidey series. For a movie that at least tried to give us something, but gave us other things are unforgivable…I’m giving “Spider-Man 3” a 6/10. 

Alright, this concludes the reign of Tobey McGuire as Spider-Man…and no matter what happens with the character, I would like to just thank him for being MY Spider-Man..and he always will be. Come back next time because now we’re moving on to the Andrew Garfield Spider-Man and that’s…well…it’ll be fun for you, not for me.

 

 

Hype for Homecoming: Spider-man 2

Part 2 of 5: “The power of the sun…in the palm of my hands.”

[WARNING: Posts of this nature aren’t traditional “reviews”. Expect the following: spoilers, potentially mindless ramblings, lack of proper sentence structure, and profane language. There is a summary section at the end of the bullet points that you can skip to for convenience.]

“Spider-Man 2” is the second movie in Sam Raimi’s spider-man trilogy and stars the same cast from last time, with the addition of Alfred Molina as Dr. Otto Octavius. This movie always held a special place in my heart because its opening day was near my 10th birthday, and OBVIOUSLY I had a spider-man themed party that ended up being the best birthday of my childhood…mostly because of the movie. Out of all the movies in the “Hype for Homecoming” series, this is the one I’m most looking forward to because I always remembered this and “X2” being the first comic book movies where everyone went “whoa…wait…these things can actually be as compelling as real films?”. Needless to say, time to re-watch “Spider-Man 2”!

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JK Simmons, you’re a gift to all mankind.
  • Jeez, right away we get insight into where our main character is at and WAIT WTF, THERE’S A DR. CURT CONNORS IN THIS? AKA THE LIZARD? YEAH, ITS TOTALLY HIM WITH THE MISSING ARM AND ALL! Wow, thanks for the comic fanservice, Sam Raimi!
  • Okay, I remember right off the bat why this movie cuts so deep….Peter’s life is TOTAL SHIT right now. He’s broke, his Aunt is in a bad situation and he can’t help, he’s failing classes, he’s losing MJ, Harry still has a grudge against Spider-man, etc. Peter Parker is the average millennial, AM I RIGHT GUYS?? Hahahahaahahahahahelpmehahahahah.
  • In all seriousness, Tobey McGuire really proves here that he’s the perfect old-school Peter Parker. What’s important here is we start to see Peter doubting if his powers are a gift or a curse, and Tobey portrays that really well through certain acting choices. The scene where his webs go out for the first time would be a good example of this…but also go watch the elevator scene right after hahahaha.
  • Its so refreshing when actors can play characters with dualities in their lives…Alfred Molina as Otto Octavius AND (later) Doc Ock is just so spectacular. Anyway, of course the experiment goes horribly wrong cuz the movie has to happen, but what’s interesting here is that we get to see both Otto AND Harry immediately lose everything (with some cheesy dialogue from James Franco to fill us in) and while Harry’s fall from grace is going to be a lot slower, Otto’s…well…
  • This hospital scene with just Ock’s arms going murder-crazy on these doctors was so unique to what comic-book movies were for a whole decade…heck, it’s even boggling to watch it in 2017. Raimi picked the best possible way to demonstrate what this character is going through instead of making him a generic villain that Spidey has to overcome. Even with his villains, Raimi creates a character here that the audience is invested in, and makes it very clear that Otto is acting against his own will.
  • Jonah: What are we gonna call this guy?
    Editor:…Doctor Strange!
    Jonah: Wait, that’s good….but its taken
    LOLOLOLOL HOLY SHIT
  • Alright, its time for the bank scene! This sce- WAIT WTF IS THAT JOEL MCHALE?? THIS IS WHAT HE WAS DOING BEFORE “COMMUNITY”?? HOLY HELL JEFF WINGER IS IN A SPIDER-MAN MOVIE. I gotta watch 2000’s movies more often…
  • Okay seriously, bank scene. First major sequence between Doc Ock and Spidey and…well…its good. Idk what else to even say about this and the rest of the movie, my “english as a second language” ass is running out of adjectives and this movie is just really good lol. Seriously, go youtube this scene or something, its damn well directed action…..aaaand Peter’s life is shitty again, and now we get to the “I’m not Spider-man anymore” part of the movie
  • When I was younger, I thought all of this was useless but now I realize this is, once again, Raimi using his directing style to set this apart from other comic-book movies of its time. I DO think we could’ve had something other than a burning building be what motivates Peter to be Spiderman again but oh well.
  • So now we’re in the last act of the movie where Harry tells Otto to bring Spider-Man to him, Peter and MJ have more drama, We get the famed train scene (holy shit I love this movie), and Harry finds out that his biggest enemy is actually his best friend…GASP. I could keep prattling on, but then this post would get too long so I’m just going to skip to the summary and try to hit it all there.
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What I look like the night after drinking and a late-night Al Pastor Burrito.

Remember what I said about the previous movie in my last post? What “Spider-Man 2” did was improve on the stuff I liked and cut out a lot of the stuff I didn’t…that’s basically it. This movie takes time to develop its characters even more, in fact I genuinely think you could sit down with “Spider-Man 2” first without even watching the first one and not be lost because this movie takes its time to tell its character’s stories. Its the little moments that Raimi gives attention to that really works, and admittedly the overarching plot becomes a little simple because of it. But hey…like I’ve mentioned before, characters are the most important part of any film for me. With that being said, “Spider-Man 2” gets a 9/10.

Hope you enjoyed how simple and happy this was…because its aaallll downhill from here..tune in next time for…*sigh*…”Spider-Man 3″.

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Until they reboot and cast Andrew Garfield, that is. #RIP

Hype for Homecoming: Spider-man

Part 1 of 5: “Booooone-Saaaaw is reaadyyyy!!!”

Welcome to the first post of my “Hype for Homecoming” series! As of this going live, we are officially just 4 weeks away from the release of “Spider-man: Homecoming”, with Tom Holland reprising his role from “Captain America: Civil War” as everyone’s favorite web-slinger.

To give a background of what Spider-man means to me…well…I was a nerdy kid that got picked on relentlessly at school…so you tell me who I looked up to. Yes, I’ve said multiple times that I watched the DC animated universe quite a bit as a kid, but really if I had to point to my childhood hero, it’d be Spidey. There’s always a soft spot in my heart for the web-head and even though I’ve grown up and have other heroes now, it doesn’t change the fact that Spidey is the Marvel poster-boy and that the first Spider-man movies, directed by Sam Raimi, were some of the few to set the stage for Comic Book Movies to take Hollywood by storm. Granted, we had to sit through a bunch of other “imitators” that ended up creating the trope of comic book movies being atrocious for most of the 2000’s…but I’m glad we’re past that now and its nice to look back and see some of the pre-MCU/DCEU original “Universes” (hell, Fox has been doing it since 2000 with the X-men, even though they don’t have as solid of a slate and flow when it comes to universe-building). So, without further ado, here’s my notes on Spider-man (2002)!

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Slide into those DMs like…

[WARNING: Posts of this nature aren’t traditional “reviews”. Expect the following: spoilers, potentially mindless ramblings, lack of proper sentence structure, and profane language. There is a summary section at the end of the bullet points that you can skip to for convenience.]

  • Holy hell, NO ONE looks like they’re in high school…thankfully they actually casted teenagers in Homecoming, but JEEZ I forgot how odd this looks. Anyway, we’re introduced to Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire), Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) and WAIT WTF, IS THAT JOHN MANGANIELLO PLAYING FLASH THOMPSON? LIKE, THE GUY PLAYING DEATHSTROKE IN AFFLECK’S BATMAN MOVIE? Sorry, got distracted. We get a scene with the Osborns aka Norman (Willem Dafoe) and Harry (James Franco) and already we see some tension here with Peter getting shit from kids at school (high schoolers are dicks, just saying) and Harry getting shit from his father, so it makes sense why the two are such good friends to our audiences who’ve never read a spiderman comic.
  • So now we’re in the museum because the class is on a field trip, and we get some juicy exposition on what spiders can do (and eventually what Peter will be able to do) and some nice little development between Peter, MJ, and Harry when OUCH, radioactive spider-bite!
  • Remember the cliches of sci-fi/superhero movies from the 2000’s? So Norman is testing a super-soldier serum (check) but his board and the military aren’t thrilled about the results so far (check), so he’s given an arbitrary deadline (check) for human testing but since he’s running out of time and funding, he’s going to test it on himself (checkarooni) and eventually become a threat to himself and others (Check, check, check). I will say that I love Willem Dafoe and his freaky looking face for the role of Norman/Green Goblin, and I think he demonstrates it well when Harry finds him passed out on the floor, just some subtle acting choices you notice here and there.
  • So Peter wakes up after being bitten and spends the entire day finding out he has weird ass spider powers…which I feel like should’ve been a bigger deal when he had a literal web coming out of his arm and punched the biggest guy in school after doing a back-flip…must be New York public school system, I guess?
  • Dear Lord I forgot how much time they actually spend on these characters and how awesome it is. This is really just a theme for the entire movie…same with the casting, its all so good.
  • Uncle Ben, I love you. This scene with Peter being a total dick to his Uncle caring about him…they get this SO RIGHT.
  • Ahahaah I could never forget that Macho Man Randy Savage is in thi-WAIT WTF IS THAT OCTAVIA SPENCER? LIKE…FROM HIDDEN FIGURES? DAMN…WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE. Anyway,  as dumb as this scene is, its kinda cool to see Peter learn how to fight and gain some confidence against a professional wrestler, of all people.
  • This confidence turns into cockiness and Peter ignores his Uncle’s advice…and in turn, we get the first truly emotional scene in this movie with Uncle Ben’s death and Peter getting his petty revenge…and with this plus the graduation scene, In my opinion, the first act is over and now we get to Peter adjusting to his new life as Spider-Man. Also, side-note: This score by Danny Elfman…wow.
  • JK Simmons…its going to take me a long time to adjust to you being Commissioner Gordon…cuz this guy is ALWAYS going to be J. Jonah Jameson to me. This is PERFECT Casting in a movie that’s already casted so well. “No Job! Freelance!”…oh look, Peter Parker is a millenial like the rest of us hahahahahahasaveushahaha.
  • So now we get this sequence at the World Unity festival and it gets….a little corny. At the risk of sounding like a douche, this is definitely 2002 CGI…and wtf is this goblin-bomb that immediately turns the Oscorp Board into skeletons? But other than that its pretty satisfying to have our first real Spidey vs Goblin battle which ends with him saving MJ and winning the day. He even saves a kid, which is textbook Spider-man and I love it…its the little things with characters like Spidey.
  • Willem Dafoe’s scene where he talks to himself in the mirror just settles it, this guy would’ve been the best comic movie villain of the 2000’s if it wasn’t for Heath Ledger’s Joker. I’d honestly be okay if they never touched Green Goblin again…but of course they will.
  • I skipped a bunch so I don’t get redundant, but this end fight between Goblin and Spidey…holy shit Spidey gets his ASS KICKED. I actually like it, it always irked me when a Superhero suddenly had mastery of their powers within a few minutes of screen-time. This is such an emotionally driven fight and these actors are really conveying that..and by the end you actually feel kinda BAD for how Norman dies because there’s a small hint of him still left as soon as he gets stabbed by the glider (because he was faking before…I think) and I didn’t realize how GOOD of a set-up this was for Harry going crazy in the next two movies. Character development, y’all…its my favorite part of any movie.
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Okay, I laughed.

During this re-watch, I realized that this movie didn’t age as well with cinematography, but it more than makes up for it with story and characters. Despite it being a little cheesy, I do admire how much heart the direction and acting had to make the overall product something unique for its time. It feels surprisingly real, and I think that’s why this movie broke box office records in 2002. “Spider-man” is a fantastic origin story for an extremely lovable character, and leaves audiences moved, charmed, and wanting to see more..and they accomplished this without jerking themselves off and setting up a universe (hold on to that, seriously…because I promise you its going to come up again in this series). Tune in next week for the next part of the series, aka one of my favorite movies ever! As for this part, “Spider-man” gets a 8/10

Movie Review – Wonder Woman

My attempt at the theme Hans Zimmer did: DANANA NA NA NANANA NANA NANANA NANA NAAAAAAAA

[THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS OF MAJOR PLOT DETAILS IN THIS REVIEW]

“Wonder Woman” is the fourth movie in the DC Extended Universe (DCEU) and it stars Gal Gadot as Princess Diana of Themyscira. The film is directed by Patty Jenkins and also features Chris Pine as Steve Trevor, and Connie Nielsen as Queen Hippolyta.

The best part of walking away from this movie was the sense of wonder (ha) that I felt as a DC fan and someone who wants to see Hollywood reflect diversity. Almost everything about this movie worked so well for me, and I’m incredibly happy to announce that “Wonder Woman” is the first great DC movie I’ve seen since I was in high school. I love the MCU and what they’ve been doing, and my only wish was that my DC characters would get the same treatment. In this movie, they accomplished this thanks to great direction, character moments, acting, and well shot sequences.

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If you didn’t already know, this movie takes place in World War I, similar to “Captain America: The First Avenger” taking place in WW2. Diana receives a photo from Bruce (the same one he discovered in “Batman v Superman”…the one found on…*long sigh*…Lex Luthor’s drive…ugh, that movie) and the entire movie becomes a flashback that Diana is having about her first time experiencing our world. I actually liked this little detail because it helps the DCEU do some universe-building to see the Wayne Enterprises logo and a friendship between Bruce and Diana. Unfortunately, we do get somewhat of a slow start, but it was a slow start that felt necessary as the story progressed. Anyway, on to the rest of the movie!

There are three major action sequences in this movie, and 2 of them made my jaw drop. The first is on Themyscira itself, where Steve Trevor lands on the beach and brings a bunch of angry Germans with him. Not only does every shot of Paradise Island look amazing…but this fight on the beach was fantastic and emotions ran high between the characters. The third sequence, I’ll admit, got a little too CGI heavy and reminiscent of the Doomsday fight in “BvS”. The only reason I was invested in it was because I cared about the characters (more on that later). However…the second big action sequence in this movie…I was speechless. This takes place in the trenches and Diana decides it’d be a great idea to charge in by herself on to No Man’s Land. Every single shot and all the action in this scene…I still don’t know how to put it into words. This is on par with the Airport scene in “Civil War” or the warehouse scene in “BvS”. Not only was the action amazing, but you saw the character’s personality shine through her fighting methods. This is the first major fight Diana has been in, and you really get to see that through her confidence, bravery, and use of every weapon in her arsenal. Even the way she looks at the German soldiers right before pummeling them makes me think “yep, that’s Wonder Woman”, which brings me to my next point.

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Because I’m 22 and was a kid when the DC animated universe was big, my bar for the DCEU has always been to compare it to that. Because of this, Affleck WAS Batman to me…everything he said and did just screamed “Batman: The Animated Series” or “Justice League” to me. This is the exact way I feel about Gadot as Wonder Woman…as in she IS Wonder Woman. The combo of Jenkins’ direction and the casting of Gadot was fantastic, as she really portrays the innocence, curiosity, and grace that Diana would have when first coming to the world of men. Pair that with Chris Pine’s portrayal of Steve Trevor and you have sparks flying off of the screen. What made the movie for me were these little moments we had with the two, both being fish out of water in each other’s worlds. These moments where he teaches her how to dance, where Steve gets hit with the lasso of truth, where Diana tries ice cream for the first time (straight from the New 52, I love it) are just so refreshing. I’m glad to see more and more superhero movies doing this, because we watch these movies for the characters, and we need to see these little moments that humanize such heroic characters like Wonder Woman.

Aside from the actors capturing the feelings of these characters in each scenario, Diana (and in turn, the audience) gets a realistic view of how horrible World War I was. If you’re not a history nerd, World War I was especially gruesome because its when warfare started to “modernize” and use chemical weaponry and weapons that could simply kill a huge amount of people in one sitting. Diana gets to see things like this and the horror on everyone’s faces, and the fact that so much blind hate can exist among men. I’m actually glad they used WWI because we don’t see much of it in film these days and people forget just how insane it was.

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Despite my praise for this movie, I think it did falter a little in the third act. Think of a majestic swan that takes off slowly, flies gracefully for a long time, but then trips just a little bit on the landing before sticking it….that’s the best way I can describe it without spoiling anything. Despite this, I’ve mentioned before that the messy third act didn’t ruin the fact that I was already so immersed, because we still get amazing character moments. Alas, like many comic book movies nowadays, the villain wasn’t really anything special and seemed a little disposable. It was cool to see some things that I never thought I’d see as a comic fan on the big screen, but I still felt a little bummed about the lack of impact this villain is going to have in the overall DCEU. Additionally, the writing sometimes goes for low hanging fruit when it comes to some of the humor and lines, although not as much as previous titles in the DCEU (what is this, some kind of…stab at “Suicide Squad”?). Regardless, the movie ends well and I was overjoyed to see that critics and audiences both loved it.

Not to sound too optimistic, but “Wonder Woman” will light a fire in Hollywood and I hope it becomes clear that audiences want more blockbuster movies to be like this, be it because of the female lead, the character moments, or whatever else charmed you during this film. Gadot brings justice (ha) to a beloved DC character and regardless of if you’re a DC fanboy/girl or just love fun movies, I highly recommend seeing this movie in theaters.

Wonder Woman gets an 8.5/10

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 – Movie Review

I’m Mary Poppins, Y’all!

[THERE WILL BE NO MAJOR PLOT DETAILS SPOILED IN THIS REVIEW, ONLY WHAT WAS ALREADY IN THE TRAILERS]

“Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” is the sequel to 2014’s “Guardians of the Galaxy” and the 15th installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). It features the infamous bunch of jackasses in a very different situation than the last time we saw them. After saving Xandar from Ronan the Accuser and establishing themselves as a rag-tag team for hire, we end up learning a lot about where each of our Guardians are coming from and what they’ve dealt with beforehand. Specifically, Star Lord gets to finally meet his father and discover more about himself and what makes him special (aside from the fact that he’s Chris Pratt).

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Since I saw this movie on the red carpet in the middle of April, I’ve been thinking about this one and seeing other reactions/reviews for a while now. If you have been seeing other reactions too you might be aware that things are kind of mixed, although generally positive. What I mean is that some are saying they liked it more than the first/didn’t enjoy it as much, thought it was forced/thought it was hilarious, etc.

As for where I stand, I personally enjoyed this one more than the first “Guardians of the Galaxy” because writer/director James Gunn appealed to my love of character study and made a very thematically consistent movie. I will say that I thought the first one was a little funnier, but that doesn’t mean the jokes didn’t land for me on this one. I genuinely loved this movie…so lets get in to details!

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This movie is ALL about its characters, as all of our Guardians get a bit of an arc and some depth with each other/their backgrounds. I would say Drax was a little underdeveloped, but he more than makes up for it by stealing the show whenever he’s on screen and interacting with another Guardian, specifically Star Lord. Seriously, Dave Bautista delivers even more than he did last time and I can see him walking away as the favorite for many moviegoers…just below Baby Groot, that is. Unfortunately, talking about the development with Star Lord and his Dad would be giving away a ton so I can’t say much about it. What honestly surprised me wasn’t even the father-son relationship, it was what we get between the sisters: Gamora and Nebula. Not only is Nebula more important in this and the two actually act like feuding sisters, but we get some juicy insight to their upbringing and we find out that Thanos is…well…kind of messed up. Sure, those familiar with Marvel before the MCU already knew that, but hearing about some specifics and not having Thanos appear in the movie at all really worked in terms of establishing him for later. It somewhat reminded me of the “Godzilla” thing where you hear/see the gruesome things he can do without actually seeing him in action until much later, which i’m not usually a fan of…but in this case it was a good little detail since this guy is supposed to be this “Mad Titan” and we’ve seen him do literally nothing but sit in a chair and pick up a glove.

Something that totally came out of a left field for me was how much time the movie spends on Yondu Udonta (the blue guy who whistles from the last movie…for those who forgot). Yondu is HUGE in this movie as a character, and surprisingly makes quite a fun pair with Rocket. Michael Rooker absolutely kills it as Yondu and it was very pleasant to see him on screen. The focus on him actually helps the audience understand some of our other characters better, and I hope making Yondu more important gets better reception from audiences than the whole “Hawkeye is suddenly a big deal” thing in “Avengers: Age of Ultron”.

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My other huge reason for liking this movie a lot was because you can tell exactly what vision Gunn had in mind while writing the script. I mentioned earlier that this is thematically very strong, and the theme that Gunn keeps throughout the movie is a simple, yet important, one: Family. As cliche as it sounds, the Guardians go from being “a bunch of Jackasses” to being a real family (insert Fate of the Furious joke here) by the end of the movie. Before the movie played at the red carpet premier, Gunn specifically mentioned that he made this for his parents and that he loves them, and that really showed throughout his work…and isn’t expressing something important to you the point of creating? The fact that he was able to make that come across so well in a comic book movie only helps fans like me justify that comic movies aren’t simply shallow, formulaic popcorn-flicks.

Despite how much I loved Gunn’s direction here, I do have some negatives. Pacing issues were a little prevalent in the first and second acts. The Sovereign (the gold people in the trailers you see) might be the most bland MCU-villainous-henchmen army I’ve seen..maybe even more one-dimensional than Ultron’s robot clones. I get that they’re going to be more important later, but some of my least favorite parts of the movie were when they were on screen. Additionally, subtlety isn’t really a strong suit in the script. If the last comic book movie you saw was “Logan”, it’ll definitely feel weird being hit over the head with subtext rather than figuring it out for yourself. The soundtrack is good, but isn’t as “iconic” as the previous movie for me (my friends still break out into “Hooked on a Feeling” on road-trips)…then again, I listen to drugged-up-RnB so I might not be the best person to ask on that one. This last one is a personal complaint (because he’s kinda my hero and we share the same birthday and same height) but Stallone is very sparingly used in the movie, do not go in expecting him to interact with any other protagonists/antagonists much. Still more screen time than Jared Leto’s Joker, though.

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Lastly, thought I’d rip this band-aid off quickly: Yes, there are 5 post-credit scenes. No, none of them have anything to do with Infinity War, Spiderman, Thor, Black Panther, etc. They’re all confined to things relating to the Guardians, and there’s no set-up for any future MCU titles except the likely “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3″…and even the set-up for that isn’t too obvious. These are just fun things to see after the movie and nothing more (the one with Groot had me laughing uncontrollably, so stick around for that).

To wrap this up, I really enjoyed seeing the Guardians have a stronger foundation and some solid growth. Thinking about it long term, making them more “human” and solidifying their friendship will definitely be interesting once they meet the Avengers, who are super divided right now, next year to take on Thanos. Gunn has done it again for me, taking this incredibly obscure group of D-list superheroes that maybe 0.5 in 10 people knew about beforehand…and making them awesome, hilarious, and relatable.

I’m giving “Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2” an initial Soggz Blogs rating of 9/10.

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Academy Awards? The 2017 Soggz-Blogscars

Take a drink every time someone makes a speech about Trump, chug a drink for every tweet he writes in response after. Sad!

It’s that time of the year again for the night where filmmaking, screen acting, writing, directing, and animation are all celebrated and awarded…and hey, they actually nominated minorities this time!

Now that I got that joke out of the way, welcome to the 1st annual “Soggz-Blogscars”, where I, Soggz, will be your host and give you the rundown of my personal picks and honorable mentions for a select few of the Oscar Award Categories. These past few weeks, I bought the pass for Regal Cinema’s “Best Picture Film Festival” and got to see all 9 nominees for Best Picture. Let it be known that I think there isn’t a single “bad” movie here. I’m used to mostly spending money on movies where things are blowing up and someone is struggling with their powers up until they have to fight a disposable villain we’ll never see again…BUT since I adult nowadays I can afford to make more time for film, and I absolutely loved what I saw. True, the Oscars do hold some amount of pretentiousness and there always are a fair number of snubs (Sorry Amy Adams…I’m sure Leo knows the feel and he’s all better now!), but I do enjoy the Oscars and usually make time for it even if I haven’t seen the best pictures. That being said, I do resent the fact that there’s a big possibility of “La La Land” sweeping everything (Hollywoo just LOOOVES getting its own ego stroked) because there ARE better movies out there, especially this year…so I’m hoping that this post brings some of those to light.

Like I said, these are my PERSONAL opinions. Please do not come after me with an ax when “La La Land” doesn’t get best picture (better I break it to you now). These are SUBJECTIVE viewpoints. Here we go!
*indicates that I didnt get to see every nominee in the category, so can be taken with a grain of salt

Best Lead Actor: Denzel Washington – Fences

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There could be a movie advertised about Denzel riding a unicycle for 2 hours while juggling sex toys and I would still be interested in what he would bring to the table as an actor. This man just overflows with talent and I was blown away by what I was watching. I think it says a lot when an Actor gets you to absolutely loath the character he is playing. Not in the sense of being a villain or a well-written antagonist, but just that every scene he was in made me want to punch his character, Troy Maxson, right in the face. The best part is that he gets the audience to sympathize with him for JUST A SECOND…then goes back to being horrible again. If you’re a fan of excellent acting, you HAVE to see “Fences”.

Honorable Mention (HM): Casey Affleck – Manchester by the Sea

Best Lead Actress*: Emma Stone – La La Land

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As much as I like bagging on the movie, It does deserve to be commended for certain things they did very well. For me, this was Emma Stone’s career performance..honestly, I’m just happy she’s no longer playing high school girls…or a “half asian” (lol…). The part that really sealed it for me was her performance of the “Audition” (Fools who Dream). Plus, in all her scenes with Gosling, I just thought she was the much more charismatic one…sorry, ladies.

HM: Natalie Portman – Jackie

Best Supporting Actor: Dev Patel – LionDev Patel stars in LIONI’m so happy to say that I finally don’t hate this guy. Dev Patel gives the best performance of his career and one of the best performances in general. For those who don’t know, he only appears into the movie after an hour, to play the main character as a young adult (who we only see as a child in the first hour). I just thought it was incredibly impressive for Dev Patel to deliver on what the film had already set up before his appearance, and on the true story of the main character. Of all the nominees for best picture, “Lion” was the one that brought me to tears. I had my foot in my mouth while leaving the theater…the same guy that is forever associated with the ruined version of one of my favorite fictional characters was now compelling me to actually cry and feel for this character. While its always good for me to see a fellow brown guy out there, its WAY better for me to see one giving an Oscar-worthy performance.

HM: Mahershala Ali – Moonlight

Best Supporting Actress: Viola Davis – Fences

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Almost everything I mentioned for Denzel can be said for Viola, she absolutely nailed what it was to be this motherly, concerned, nurturing woman that just wants the best for everyone around her. She was on par with Denzel’s acting, even outshining him in a number of scenes. On review, Viola was the ONLY redeeming factor of that dumpster fire “Suicide Squad” because she brought Amanda Waller from my childhood cartoons to life. She even recently got her Hollywoo Star of Fame and I’m SO happy. Viola…keep being awesome.

HM: Octavia Spencer – Hidden Figures

Best Director: Hacksaw Ridge

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To be honest, I wanted to hate this film SO much as I walked into it. If I recall, the thought process was “Really…do we need ANOTHER WW2 movie with too much blood and gore? One directed by Mel Gibson? Didn’t this guy burn all his bridges yet? And why can’t Andrew Garfield just go away already? (#NotMySpiderman)” After walking out, I just couldn’t say anything bad. These were some of the best directed battle scenes since “Saving Private Ryan”. The movie was telling the story of a pacifist, and instead of glorifying wars as something for honor or thrill, we saw absolute horror to the point where adults would have nightmares.

HM: La La Land

Cinematography*: Arrival

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It is tougher for me to get detailed about Cinematography and Visual effects because I didn’t actually go to Film School..but hey, cool things look cool. Arrival was beautifully shot, even outside of the scenes where Amy Adams confronted the Aliens. I actually also thought the “flashback (heh)” scenes were done pretty well and almost makes sense why they were shot that way once the big plot-point of the movie is dropped on us.

HM: La La Land

Visual EffectsJungle Book

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I know, I know…how could I betray the Marvel Cinematic Universe. While “Doctor Strange” was trippy and a blast in IMAX, the remake of Jungle Book had the absolute best CGI that I’ve ever seen, and sets a new bar. Not only that, but if I recall correctly, its ALL BLUE SCREEN. They CREATED a darn Indian jungle and all these animals…and that’s pretty cool. Throw in the fact that this kid was acting alongside characters that weren’t actually there too.

HM: Doctor Strange

Best Makeup and Hair Design: Literally anything but Suicide Squad because there’s no way in hell that flaming sack of crocodile turd should win an Oscar for anything that would validate the BS version of my beloved DC universe that WB is churning out

I know 0 about hair and makeup. I just really don’t like “Suicide Squad”…seriously WB, get it together (Even my Oscars post had to have some mention of comic book movies).

Best Animated Feature Film*: Zootopia

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Joke of the year, to be honest.

“Zootopia” was one of the most pleasant surprises of 2016. I’m not going to lie, the animated movies have lost me lately (probably because I’m 22..) where I feel like they’re re-tellings/cliches or I feel as if all the ones from my childhood were better (s/o Emperor’s New Groove). For me currently, I want an animated movie not only to be kid-friendly but to also have a message in there for the adults or tell a compelling story with more mature themes. Don’t get me wrong, I love animation…but I find myself mostly indulging in the shows/movies with adult themes, some even with an R-rating. “Zootopia” absolutely knocked it out of the park for me, and this is my favorite thing from Disney since “Tangled”. Plus, we FINALLY got people to shut up about “Frozen”!

HM: Kubo and the Two Strings

Best Picture: Okay…so before I do this one, I just wanted to give a little run-down of how I rate an Oscar nominated/critically acclaimed film, because its much different from how I rate anything from nerd culture. To me, the most important factors are: storytelling, acting, cinematography, social importance, consistency of themes, and overall message. Art of all kinds is so important because its meant to make us feel things and grow as people. Art IS a form of education, and that’s said as a really stupid kid who learned a lot of lessons from movies or music…and a really sad/angry kid who could only express himself through dancing. Its on artists to give an audience some perspective, entertain them, and to pour passion into their projects. So when I look at all 9 nominees…the best one for me ends up being..

Hidden Figures

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Everyone NEEDS to see this movie. You’re really missing out if you don’t…especially with the current political climate, this movie is so optimistic and important and tells the story of American Heroes. It was as uplifting as “La La Land” while being as socially important as “Moonlight”, and I truly think everyone can enjoy and learn from this film. Those are my thoughts on this years Oscar’s! Hope you all have fun tonight and just remember, even if the awards don’t go the way you want them to, these great films will always be there for us to come back to and for audiences to enjoy/learn from! Look forward to my review of “Logan” next week! SOGGZ OUT.

HM: Lion & Hacksaw Ridge

 

The Lego Batman Movie – Movie Review

First Lesson: Life Doesn’t Give you Seat-belts

In 2014, Warner Animation Group gave us a movie that most of us thought would just be a shameless plug to sell some plastic toys…and we were right, in a sense. The only thing was that none of us expected what we got: An amazing animated movie with a great voice-acting cast, pristine animation, and an actual plot that made some adults cry like babies and made other adults buy new lego sets (the latter for me, personally). Out of all the funny lego characters we got, Will Arnett’s hilarious narcissistic and edgy take on Batman stood out in that movie…so much that here we are in 2017 with the spin-off “Lego Batman” movie, and a “Lego Ninjago” movie coming soon as well.

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Because “The Lego Movie” revolved around original characters like Emmett, Lord Business, etc, The comedy in that movie had to also have a sense of originality and had to come from the situations that the characters were in. With a property like Batman that’s been having its own movies since the 60’s, however, that wasn’t as necessary. Reviewing and recommending this movie is fairly simple: IF you like self-referencing humor and the Batman films, you will absolutely love this movie. This movie is a spoof of the property, made obvious through the medium of legos and the animation style. The more Batman you’ve seen, the better. If the Batman films and comics are always fresh in your head, you will catch all the humor and it will be a delight.

Aside from that, just wanted to mention a few things I liked and noticed:

  • This movie BARELY takes a break. It is joke after punchline after pun after self-burn after…you get the idea. If you’re in a low energy mood, this is NOT the film for you. I personally wish I wasn’t as tired when I saw it, I probably would’ve enjoyed it even more. There is a slower section in the 2nd act, but it is mainly to focus on the story…which even comedic movies need, so no complaints there.

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  • Dear Lord, some of these references were just marvelous (DCous?…get it?..sorry). There’s the things you would expect them to make fun of (Suicide Squad, BvS, Shark-Repel-ant, Batman brooding) and then there’s some stuff that I haven’t heard been referenced in a while. One of my personal favorites was Joker explaining his plan to a Security Guard, and the guard telling him its going to fail so he brings up some of Joker’s other failed plans…specifically “That one time with the parade and the Prince music” (Burton’s Batman movie in 1989). I couldn’t hold in my laughter during some of these even if I was one of the only ones laughing.
  • The dynamic with Joker wanting Batman’s attention like an overly attached crush was one of the best parts of the movie. It was just really funny to see a spoof of Joker having a purpose, I honestly didn’t expect that much thought to go into this when they just as easily could’ve went: “Oh Joker’s crazy anyway, lets just have him do clown things and focus the movie more on Batman giving one-liners”…but wow, they actually gave the audience something to work with and it’s great.

You probably saw this coming already, but since I love spoofs and meta-jokes, and since you all know my feelings about Batman as a superhero, I’m giving the Lego Batman movie a 9/10. 

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This was no doubt a shorter review since there wasn’t much to go into, but expect a longer review for “Logan” which comes out in about a month…which I am SO excited for. It took me a while to get started for 2017, but be on the lookout because some cool stuff that is out of the usual realm of film reviews is coming soon. Thanks for reading!

That’s all for now,
Soggz Out!

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