Hype for Homecoming: Spider-Man 3

Part 3 of 5: Jazz hands and tears

[WARNING: Posts of this nature aren’t traditional “reviews”. Expect the following: spoilers, potentially mindless ramblings, lack of proper sentence structure, and profane language. There is a summary section at the end of the bullet points that you can skip to for convenience.]

*Inhales*….”Spider-Man 3″…is…a movie that exists. I’m going to try to get through this keeping as much sanity as I can, but this movie essentially boils down to being way too scattered and it just ends up feeling like butter spread out over too much bread. Look, I don’t think this movie is one of the atrociously bad comic-book movies of the 2000’s. Even if you look at the other two that came out in 2007, its “Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer” and “Ghost Rider”…yeah, those were way worse. What I DO think is that this is the first example of a comic-book movie having insane hype, but tries to do way too much and falls flat on its face…regardless of if these were decisions by Sony or some other external factor interfering with Raimi’s work, OR if it was just a huge goof by Raimi himself. I actually discussed this in a previous post you can find here where I name the phenomenon after THIS movie…and for good reason. In any case…*sigh* here we go.

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Oh sure, SPIDER-MAN’S ARCH-NEMESIS FROM THE COMICS, show up in the last 30 minutes of the movie! GENIUS.
  • Okay the first act of this movie actually feels like a Raimi Spider-Man movie, we establish where our characters are, there’s a few nice moments between them, we get a fight between Peter and Harry (as the new Green Goblin), and it actually feels like the movie has gracefully taken off…and then we get to the “Harry memory loss” subplot and you kinda start to think “well…what now?” TWO OTHER VILLAINS, A LIFETIME DRAMA, AND BAD DANCING, THATS WHAT!
  • The whole idea to put Sandman in this movie actually sums up how I feel about this movie. Its a weird mix of moments that worked, stuff that made no sense, and stuff that made me think that ANYONE in the writer’s room could’ve pointed out a way to do it better. EXAMPLE: Scene where Sandman is materializing and trying to grab his daughter’s locket? Works for me, good moment supplemented by the score. Making Sandman aka Flint Marko be the “real” Uncle Ben’s murderer? Makes no sense when you put that sub-plot to bed a LONG time ago…why go back to alter the turning point of the first movie? Scene where these scientists conduct the experiment anyway thinking “the change in the mass is just a bird that will fly away”?…a screenwriting intern could’ve spoken out against this. What. The. Fuck. EVEN I KNOW that is a GIANT no-no in any laboratory/test of ANY kind.
  • Why…DEAR GOD WHY…does Peter decide to kiss Gwen in front of MJ? Yes, it makes sense for him to get a little cocky, but what the hell were the writers thinking making Spidey SO OUT OF CHARACTER here? The entire MJ drama and eventual love-triangle with Harry just blows and seems so out of place, if you ask me that’s what brings this movie down the most. A lot of other things are forced too, but this made the LEAST amount of sense.
  • Let’s talk about the Symbiote. I don’t think including it in the movie was a bad call itself, but the way it was handled just seemed choppy. Probably due to the conflicting sub-plots and having to find a way to jam this piece of the puzzle in to a space that doesn’t exactly fit? I mean even if you just had Harry be the villain, yeah you could fit the Symbiote in…and the scenes with Black-suit Spider-Man are cool…but, again…too much, too scattered, blaahh.
  • In a series with such great casting…Topher Grace’s casting as Eddie Brock is just the fucking worst. The only reason I’m okay with a standalone Venom reboot is because I can forget about this version….unless Sony fucks the new one up too.
  • I just finished the part where Harry’s manipulation of Peter and MJ’s relationship is done and he tells Peter “I’m the other guy” (WHO THOUGHT THIS SUBPLOT WAS A GOOD IDEA??). Aside from Harry suddenly becoming Batman and vanishing in to thin air, I’m gonna just end this with a bullet each for what was cool and what pissed me off.
  • What I liked: The suit-less fight between Harry and Peter is really cool…and has some real tension. Would’ve been cooler if Peter didn’t decide to be emo and look like the lead singer of a punk band; Peter ripping off the symbiote in the church is a well-done scene; Spidey teaming up with Goblin Jr. to fight Sandman and Venom is dope, nice to see superheroes team up in the pre-avengers era.
  • What sucked: Jazz choreography…dear LORD this entire part at the Jazz club just didn’t need to happen. You mean to tell me there was NO OTHER WAY Peter could hurt MJ and realize what he’s become? Anyone?; Fucking BUTLER-EX-MACHINA finally telling Harry that his dad was a psycho that killed himself. How did the Butler even know what Harry was going through? Just because Norman died by his own glider doesn’t exactly prove much…I mean someone else could’ve still done that to him. Why wouldn’t the Butler have just told Harry that in the first place? These guys are rich as fuck, did NO ONE perform an autopsy to see exactly how he died? 2.5 movies worth of Harry growing to hate Peter is undone by ONE piece of exposition from his BUTLER??; Wait so now NO ONE killed Uncle Ben? I seriously don’t know why they did this, “random robber” is SO MUCH EASIER than this entire ordeal with Flint…ugh.
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ALL OF MY TEARS.

Look, I don’t HATE “Spider-Man 3”. Obviously, it has its problems that seemed really avoidable..like if someone told you there’s a brick wall in front of you, you clearly see it, but you bump in to it lightly anyway. When you actually figure out what’s going on (which takes multiple watches) and forgive the stupidity, you can at least enjoy the movie. Despite things that made less sense, AT LEAST characters still had motives and I understood why they were doing things..which is more than I’ll be able to say for the next two parts in my Spidey series. For a movie that at least tried to give us something, but gave us other things are unforgivable…I’m giving “Spider-Man 3” a 6/10. 

Alright, this concludes the reign of Tobey McGuire as Spider-Man…and no matter what happens with the character, I would like to just thank him for being MY Spider-Man..and he always will be. Come back next time because now we’re moving on to the Andrew Garfield Spider-Man and that’s…well…it’ll be fun for you, not for me.

 

 

Hype for Homecoming: Spider-man 2

Part 2 of 5: “The power of the sun…in the palm of my hands.”

[WARNING: Posts of this nature aren’t traditional “reviews”. Expect the following: spoilers, potentially mindless ramblings, lack of proper sentence structure, and profane language. There is a summary section at the end of the bullet points that you can skip to for convenience.]

“Spider-Man 2” is the second movie in Sam Raimi’s spider-man trilogy and stars the same cast from last time, with the addition of Alfred Molina as Dr. Otto Octavius. This movie always held a special place in my heart because its opening day was near my 10th birthday, and OBVIOUSLY I had a spider-man themed party that ended up being the best birthday of my childhood…mostly because of the movie. Out of all the movies in the “Hype for Homecoming” series, this is the one I’m most looking forward to because I always remembered this and “X2” being the first comic book movies where everyone went “whoa…wait…these things can actually be as compelling as real films?”. Needless to say, time to re-watch “Spider-Man 2”!

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JK Simmons, you’re a gift to all mankind.
  • Jeez, right away we get insight into where our main character is at and WAIT WTF, THERE’S A DR. CURT CONNORS IN THIS? AKA THE LIZARD? YEAH, ITS TOTALLY HIM WITH THE MISSING ARM AND ALL! Wow, thanks for the comic fanservice, Sam Raimi!
  • Okay, I remember right off the bat why this movie cuts so deep….Peter’s life is TOTAL SHIT right now. He’s broke, his Aunt is in a bad situation and he can’t help, he’s failing classes, he’s losing MJ, Harry still has a grudge against Spider-man, etc. Peter Parker is the average millennial, AM I RIGHT GUYS?? Hahahahaahahahahahelpmehahahahah.
  • In all seriousness, Tobey McGuire really proves here that he’s the perfect old-school Peter Parker. What’s important here is we start to see Peter doubting if his powers are a gift or a curse, and Tobey portrays that really well through certain acting choices. The scene where his webs go out for the first time would be a good example of this…but also go watch the elevator scene right after hahahaha.
  • Its so refreshing when actors can play characters with dualities in their lives…Alfred Molina as Otto Octavius AND (later) Doc Ock is just so spectacular. Anyway, of course the experiment goes horribly wrong cuz the movie has to happen, but what’s interesting here is that we get to see both Otto AND Harry immediately lose everything (with some cheesy dialogue from James Franco to fill us in) and while Harry’s fall from grace is going to be a lot slower, Otto’s…well…
  • This hospital scene with just Ock’s arms going murder-crazy on these doctors was so unique to what comic-book movies were for a whole decade…heck, it’s even boggling to watch it in 2017. Raimi picked the best possible way to demonstrate what this character is going through instead of making him a generic villain that Spidey has to overcome. Even with his villains, Raimi creates a character here that the audience is invested in, and makes it very clear that Otto is acting against his own will.
  • Jonah: What are we gonna call this guy?
    Editor:…Doctor Strange!
    Jonah: Wait, that’s good….but its taken
    LOLOLOLOL HOLY SHIT
  • Alright, its time for the bank scene! This sce- WAIT WTF IS THAT JOEL MCHALE?? THIS IS WHAT HE WAS DOING BEFORE “COMMUNITY”?? HOLY HELL JEFF WINGER IS IN A SPIDER-MAN MOVIE. I gotta watch 2000’s movies more often…
  • Okay seriously, bank scene. First major sequence between Doc Ock and Spidey and…well…its good. Idk what else to even say about this and the rest of the movie, my “english as a second language” ass is running out of adjectives and this movie is just really good lol. Seriously, go youtube this scene or something, its damn well directed action…..aaaand Peter’s life is shitty again, and now we get to the “I’m not Spider-man anymore” part of the movie
  • When I was younger, I thought all of this was useless but now I realize this is, once again, Raimi using his directing style to set this apart from other comic-book movies of its time. I DO think we could’ve had something other than a burning building be what motivates Peter to be Spiderman again but oh well.
  • So now we’re in the last act of the movie where Harry tells Otto to bring Spider-Man to him, Peter and MJ have more drama, We get the famed train scene (holy shit I love this movie), and Harry finds out that his biggest enemy is actually his best friend…GASP. I could keep prattling on, but then this post would get too long so I’m just going to skip to the summary and try to hit it all there.
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What I look like the night after drinking and a late-night Al Pastor Burrito.

Remember what I said about the previous movie in my last post? What “Spider-Man 2” did was improve on the stuff I liked and cut out a lot of the stuff I didn’t…that’s basically it. This movie takes time to develop its characters even more, in fact I genuinely think you could sit down with “Spider-Man 2” first without even watching the first one and not be lost because this movie takes its time to tell its character’s stories. Its the little moments that Raimi gives attention to that really works, and admittedly the overarching plot becomes a little simple because of it. But hey…like I’ve mentioned before, characters are the most important part of any film for me. With that being said, “Spider-Man 2” gets a 9/10.

Hope you enjoyed how simple and happy this was…because its aaallll downhill from here..tune in next time for…*sigh*…”Spider-Man 3″.

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Until they reboot and cast Andrew Garfield, that is. #RIP

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 – Movie Review

I’m Mary Poppins, Y’all!

[THERE WILL BE NO MAJOR PLOT DETAILS SPOILED IN THIS REVIEW, ONLY WHAT WAS ALREADY IN THE TRAILERS]

“Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” is the sequel to 2014’s “Guardians of the Galaxy” and the 15th installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). It features the infamous bunch of jackasses in a very different situation than the last time we saw them. After saving Xandar from Ronan the Accuser and establishing themselves as a rag-tag team for hire, we end up learning a lot about where each of our Guardians are coming from and what they’ve dealt with beforehand. Specifically, Star Lord gets to finally meet his father and discover more about himself and what makes him special (aside from the fact that he’s Chris Pratt).

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Since I saw this movie on the red carpet in the middle of April, I’ve been thinking about this one and seeing other reactions/reviews for a while now. If you have been seeing other reactions too you might be aware that things are kind of mixed, although generally positive. What I mean is that some are saying they liked it more than the first/didn’t enjoy it as much, thought it was forced/thought it was hilarious, etc.

As for where I stand, I personally enjoyed this one more than the first “Guardians of the Galaxy” because writer/director James Gunn appealed to my love of character study and made a very thematically consistent movie. I will say that I thought the first one was a little funnier, but that doesn’t mean the jokes didn’t land for me on this one. I genuinely loved this movie…so lets get in to details!

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This movie is ALL about its characters, as all of our Guardians get a bit of an arc and some depth with each other/their backgrounds. I would say Drax was a little underdeveloped, but he more than makes up for it by stealing the show whenever he’s on screen and interacting with another Guardian, specifically Star Lord. Seriously, Dave Bautista delivers even more than he did last time and I can see him walking away as the favorite for many moviegoers…just below Baby Groot, that is. Unfortunately, talking about the development with Star Lord and his Dad would be giving away a ton so I can’t say much about it. What honestly surprised me wasn’t even the father-son relationship, it was what we get between the sisters: Gamora and Nebula. Not only is Nebula more important in this and the two actually act like feuding sisters, but we get some juicy insight to their upbringing and we find out that Thanos is…well…kind of messed up. Sure, those familiar with Marvel before the MCU already knew that, but hearing about some specifics and not having Thanos appear in the movie at all really worked in terms of establishing him for later. It somewhat reminded me of the “Godzilla” thing where you hear/see the gruesome things he can do without actually seeing him in action until much later, which i’m not usually a fan of…but in this case it was a good little detail since this guy is supposed to be this “Mad Titan” and we’ve seen him do literally nothing but sit in a chair and pick up a glove.

Something that totally came out of a left field for me was how much time the movie spends on Yondu Udonta (the blue guy who whistles from the last movie…for those who forgot). Yondu is HUGE in this movie as a character, and surprisingly makes quite a fun pair with Rocket. Michael Rooker absolutely kills it as Yondu and it was very pleasant to see him on screen. The focus on him actually helps the audience understand some of our other characters better, and I hope making Yondu more important gets better reception from audiences than the whole “Hawkeye is suddenly a big deal” thing in “Avengers: Age of Ultron”.

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My other huge reason for liking this movie a lot was because you can tell exactly what vision Gunn had in mind while writing the script. I mentioned earlier that this is thematically very strong, and the theme that Gunn keeps throughout the movie is a simple, yet important, one: Family. As cliche as it sounds, the Guardians go from being “a bunch of Jackasses” to being a real family (insert Fate of the Furious joke here) by the end of the movie. Before the movie played at the red carpet premier, Gunn specifically mentioned that he made this for his parents and that he loves them, and that really showed throughout his work…and isn’t expressing something important to you the point of creating? The fact that he was able to make that come across so well in a comic book movie only helps fans like me justify that comic movies aren’t simply shallow, formulaic popcorn-flicks.

Despite how much I loved Gunn’s direction here, I do have some negatives. Pacing issues were a little prevalent in the first and second acts. The Sovereign (the gold people in the trailers you see) might be the most bland MCU-villainous-henchmen army I’ve seen..maybe even more one-dimensional than Ultron’s robot clones. I get that they’re going to be more important later, but some of my least favorite parts of the movie were when they were on screen. Additionally, subtlety isn’t really a strong suit in the script. If the last comic book movie you saw was “Logan”, it’ll definitely feel weird being hit over the head with subtext rather than figuring it out for yourself. The soundtrack is good, but isn’t as “iconic” as the previous movie for me (my friends still break out into “Hooked on a Feeling” on road-trips)…then again, I listen to drugged-up-RnB so I might not be the best person to ask on that one. This last one is a personal complaint (because he’s kinda my hero and we share the same birthday and same height) but Stallone is very sparingly used in the movie, do not go in expecting him to interact with any other protagonists/antagonists much. Still more screen time than Jared Leto’s Joker, though.

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Lastly, thought I’d rip this band-aid off quickly: Yes, there are 5 post-credit scenes. No, none of them have anything to do with Infinity War, Spiderman, Thor, Black Panther, etc. They’re all confined to things relating to the Guardians, and there’s no set-up for any future MCU titles except the likely “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3″…and even the set-up for that isn’t too obvious. These are just fun things to see after the movie and nothing more (the one with Groot had me laughing uncontrollably, so stick around for that).

To wrap this up, I really enjoyed seeing the Guardians have a stronger foundation and some solid growth. Thinking about it long term, making them more “human” and solidifying their friendship will definitely be interesting once they meet the Avengers, who are super divided right now, next year to take on Thanos. Gunn has done it again for me, taking this incredibly obscure group of D-list superheroes that maybe 0.5 in 10 people knew about beforehand…and making them awesome, hilarious, and relatable.

I’m giving “Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2” an initial Soggz Blogs rating of 9/10.

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Pre-gaming “Power Rangers”

It’s Morphin Time.

Welcome all to the first installment of a new Soggz Blogs segment called “Pre-gaming”. Basically, these posts will be a preview to the actual film review that should come shortly after where I run down things like: Success/failure of previous related content, personal biases, production issues, what I got from trailers, and what my personal expectations are. This way for my actual movie review, I can jump straight into the movie itself without much background!

So following the trend of reboots and big-budget versions of your favorite childhood shows, “Power Rangers” is being produced and distributed by Lionsgate and is based on the giant 24 season television franchise featuring colorful teenage martial artists (with attitude, of course). This particular movie is based off of the first season (and the one you probably remember the most), “Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers”.

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Now I know when Transformers and TMNT were being rebooted for the silver screen, many indulged it out of nostalgia from their childhoods. I DO remember these shows and remember the cooler moments enough to have favorite characters (Optimus Prime/Raphael respectively, for the record) but they weren’t huge attachments for me. However…if you were to ask me what my FIRST real fictional obsession was..and I’m talking WAY before Batman, Spiderman, even before Dragon Ball Z or Pokemon…it was 100% Power Rangers.

I used to eat, sleep, and breathe Power Rangers. Halloween? Red Ranger costume. Friends of my parents asking me what I want to be when I grow up? Red Ranger. Favorite toys? my 3 different Megazord sets. Snack time at school? Power Rangers fruit snacks. First fictional character I ever related to? Wesley Collins: Red Time Force Ranger. First crush? Pink Lightspeed Ranger Wanted something to binge watch during the summer I came back from one year at college? 5 seasons of Power Rangers. At the age of 22, I’m still well-versed in my Ranger lore from “Mighty Morphin'” all the way to “Dino Thunder” and I even remember theme songs and morphing sequences. In case I haven’t emphasized it enough: I. LOVE. POWER RANGERS.

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The moment in my childhood where I started believing that good things happen.

If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you know that I’m very vocal about making things needlessly “dark and gritty” and that some things just aren’t meant for a big screen adaptation. I loathe the Transformers and TMNT movies, and even mentioning “Dragon Ball Evolution” could make me angrier than the Hulk. So when I saw THIS trailer…you can bet I was worried:

  1. Barely any color…in a POWER RANGERS TRAILER
  2. 2 seconds of half a ranger suit
  3. Looked like a lifetime drama
  4. It just didn’t even seem like Power Rangers..huge disappointment

In my opinion…to make a good live-action adaptation of something like this, you have to recognize why people liked it. This show was for kids, so it should retain some of that classic 90’s campy feel that we’ve all come to love. To make it a watchable movie, just develop your characters and give people real motivations and arcs, don’t wipe your butt with the source material and disrespect it, and add a bunch of pretty CGI shots with explosions. I don’t think its unfair for audiences to want SOME quality of plot and character development with their block-buster “popcorn movies”, as there are so many of that nature now. I’m just not a fan of the “oh its so dumb but it looks cool, so whatever” logic that basically bankrolls more garbage in the theater. I DEFINITELY don’t believe in the Michael Bay method of hyper-sexualizing your female lead, having horrible characters that you kind of want Megatron to brutally murder, and having a LITERAL SHOT WHERE DOGS WERE HUMPING. Most of all, I wanted some nostalgia, something to make me feel like I was a kid again watching the Power Rangers..except way cooler. That’s why when we got THIS trailer….I couldn’t contain how excited I was:

  1. It just felt right from the start, teenagers being stupid with each other
  2. We get to see Zordon, Alpha 5, and the command center clearly
  3. The Kanye song drops AND we see Rita…okay, way better so far…
  4. OH MY GOD THEY SAID “Its Morphin Time”??!? TAKE MY MONEY. TAKE IT NOW.
  5. WAIT WHAT?? MEGAZORD VS GOLDAR. I REPEAT, MEGAZORD VS GOLDAR!!!!!1

In all honesty, I am SO excited to see this movie on Friday. Am I going in with the same expectations I have of the MCU or Star Wars or Star Trek? Definitely not…even as a fan, I know to scale my expectations down by now. As long as they don’t try too hard to add “grit” into this and its a fun movie that makes me nostalgic…I will be happy with this movie.

Power Rangers releases on Friday, March 24th and I should have my review up the next morning. Thanks for reading, support for Soggz Blogs is appreciated as always!

Oh, and GO GO POWER RANGERS.

 

The Lego Batman Movie – Movie Review

First Lesson: Life Doesn’t Give you Seat-belts

In 2014, Warner Animation Group gave us a movie that most of us thought would just be a shameless plug to sell some plastic toys…and we were right, in a sense. The only thing was that none of us expected what we got: An amazing animated movie with a great voice-acting cast, pristine animation, and an actual plot that made some adults cry like babies and made other adults buy new lego sets (the latter for me, personally). Out of all the funny lego characters we got, Will Arnett’s hilarious narcissistic and edgy take on Batman stood out in that movie…so much that here we are in 2017 with the spin-off “Lego Batman” movie, and a “Lego Ninjago” movie coming soon as well.

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Because “The Lego Movie” revolved around original characters like Emmett, Lord Business, etc, The comedy in that movie had to also have a sense of originality and had to come from the situations that the characters were in. With a property like Batman that’s been having its own movies since the 60’s, however, that wasn’t as necessary. Reviewing and recommending this movie is fairly simple: IF you like self-referencing humor and the Batman films, you will absolutely love this movie. This movie is a spoof of the property, made obvious through the medium of legos and the animation style. The more Batman you’ve seen, the better. If the Batman films and comics are always fresh in your head, you will catch all the humor and it will be a delight.

Aside from that, just wanted to mention a few things I liked and noticed:

  • This movie BARELY takes a break. It is joke after punchline after pun after self-burn after…you get the idea. If you’re in a low energy mood, this is NOT the film for you. I personally wish I wasn’t as tired when I saw it, I probably would’ve enjoyed it even more. There is a slower section in the 2nd act, but it is mainly to focus on the story…which even comedic movies need, so no complaints there.

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  • Dear Lord, some of these references were just marvelous (DCous?…get it?..sorry). There’s the things you would expect them to make fun of (Suicide Squad, BvS, Shark-Repel-ant, Batman brooding) and then there’s some stuff that I haven’t heard been referenced in a while. One of my personal favorites was Joker explaining his plan to a Security Guard, and the guard telling him its going to fail so he brings up some of Joker’s other failed plans…specifically “That one time with the parade and the Prince music” (Burton’s Batman movie in 1989). I couldn’t hold in my laughter during some of these even if I was one of the only ones laughing.
  • The dynamic with Joker wanting Batman’s attention like an overly attached crush was one of the best parts of the movie. It was just really funny to see a spoof of Joker having a purpose, I honestly didn’t expect that much thought to go into this when they just as easily could’ve went: “Oh Joker’s crazy anyway, lets just have him do clown things and focus the movie more on Batman giving one-liners”…but wow, they actually gave the audience something to work with and it’s great.

You probably saw this coming already, but since I love spoofs and meta-jokes, and since you all know my feelings about Batman as a superhero, I’m giving the Lego Batman movie a 9/10. 

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This was no doubt a shorter review since there wasn’t much to go into, but expect a longer review for “Logan” which comes out in about a month…which I am SO excited for. It took me a while to get started for 2017, but be on the lookout because some cool stuff that is out of the usual realm of film reviews is coming soon. Thanks for reading!

That’s all for now,
Soggz Out!

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